Sunday, July 21, 2013

An "All Music " Lineup

Blog muscles were atrophying (would've done one on my trip to NY, but I didn't have pictures) and with the past couple of losses, I figured we needed a fun blog post.

During one of the games, I thought about what would be my favorite Washington Nationals lineup of all time based on their walk-up music. And I even decided to take it a step further and create a balanced 25 man roster just based on this.

Here's my list

C - Ivan Rodriguez - Check Yo Self - Ice Cube
1B - Matt Stairs - Stone Cold Steve Austin Wrestling Entrance Music
2B - Alex Cora - Don Omar and Lucenzo -Danza Kuduro
SS - Christian Guzman - How We Do - The Game (I also loved it when the Nats would have the ZZZZZZZZ on their digital display for Christian GuZman")
3B - Anthony Rendon - Still D.R.E. - Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg (or Lion, whatever he's calling himself these days)
LF - Bryce Harper - It's Tricky - Run DMC
CF - Jayson Werth - Dazed and Confused - Led Zeppelin 
RF - Ian Desmond - I Wear my Stunna Glasses at Night - The Federation and E-40 (Yes, Ian Desmond played 7.1 innings in Right Field in his Nationals career, which makes him eligible for Right Field in my All Music Roster)

2B/SS - Danny Espinosa - Turn the Page - Bob Seger
LF/RF/1B - Adam Dunn - Turn the Page - Metallica
CF Nyjer Morgan - Blow the Whistle - Too Short 
C/1B/LF/RF Robert Fick - Dear Mama - Tupac
1B/LF/RF - Michael Morse - Take on Me - A-ha

SP Ross Detwiler - Wherever I may Roam - Metallica
SP Stephen Strasburg - Seven Nation Army - White Stripes (I know, this is Baltimore's anthem but I love the beat)
SP Gio Gonzalez - House Party - Meek Mill and Young Chris
SP John Lannan - My Own Summer (Shove it) - Deftones
SP Jason Marquis Run this Town - Jay Z, Rihanna and Kanye West

RP Chad Cordero - King Nothing - Metallica 
RP Drew Storen - Bad Company - Five Finger Death Punch
RP Tyler Clippard - Ready or Not - Fugees
RP Todd Coffey - Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Entrance Music
RP Matt Capps - Final Countdown - Europe 
RP Ryan Mattheus - Firework - Katy Perry
RP Michael Gonzalez - Cracks - Freestylers (I needed a situational lefty in my All time Musical roster)

I don't know how many wins this roster would put out, but I would love to see (and hear) this 25 man roster play 162 games.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Celebrity Deathpool

Kevin B., Matt D, and I decieded to create a celebrity deathpool for money. Here are the rules.

1. Have your pick in by 11:59 PM Sunday May 12 Eastern Time. You can make a pic by leaving a comment in the comment section of this blog. Be sure to include contact info (email or twitter handle)

2. Cost is a penny a day. For example, if the pool lasts 30 days, all the losers should PayPal the winner 30 cents. (Please don't be a flake)

3. Anyone alive is eligible but coma patients are a case by case basis, decided by the Deathpool Committee (Me, Kevin and Matt)

4. Each person can only make 1 pick. At the end of 6 months if no one in our celebrity deathpool has passed, then everyone is required to make totally new picks.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Opening Day 2013: 6 In A Row

This was probably the 2nd most hyped Opening Day for the Washington Nationals that I have ever been to. (Note, I did not attend Opening Day before 2007). The most hyped (2008) was hyped because of the grand opening of the stadium, this time the hype was based on the product on the field.

Getting tickets was kind of strange. Last year, I was able to buy a 5 game plan that included Opening Day. This year, my 5 game plan did not have it included. There was a presale for opening day for full and partial season ticket holders back in February, so I was able to have my friend Jerry, who is a partial season ticket holder snag two tickets for me and my friend Jesse.

I got to the area around 830 AM and walked by the stadium and saw that there was already a line for $5 tickets. Those tickets weren't going on sale for another 2 hours. Jesse and I ended up starting pregaming at my friend Kim's house with bagels and beer and later on at the new Gordon Biersh. It was actually nice to go to a place in the area that served beer and had decent food. The Bullpen/Fairgrounds area is fun but with no decent food and only beer (no liquor) it's only so much fun.

We eventually made it into the stadium and onto the Scoreboard Walk where we saw some familiar people in friends and beer vendors. I'm glad that the Nationals still do $5 beers before first pitch, but I am disappointed that they no longer serve Pilser Urquell. At around noon, Jesse and I got to our seats so we can see the full introductions of the roster of both teams. Our seats were in left field, section 107. These were the best seats I have ever had for Opening Day.

This was the third time in six home openers that the Nationals won. Looking at the box score, with only 2 runs scored the whole game and the Marlins only getting to 3rd base once, it looks like a boring game but it wasn't. Bryce Harper hit a home run in his first two at bats of the season and fellow budding superstar Stephen Strasburg took care of business in 7 innings on the mound. After Harper's 2nd home run, I started doing the "We're not Worthy" bow from Wayne's World for the rest of his at bats.

During the 7th Inning Stretch, the Nationals played "Take on Me," which used to be Michael Morse's song. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, that is kind of cold-hearted to trade a player and still use his song but I like that the Nationals found a song that the fans have gotten into and it has meaning to DC baseball fans. It beats trying to rip off the Red Sox and play "Sweet Caroline."

During the game, I got a Shawarma from Shawafel, one of the new stands. I like that the Nationals go out of their way to include local food in their stadium (Ben's Chili Bowl, Hard Times, and formerly Mayorga Coffee and Five Guys), but they did not do a good job of hyping of the new stands this off-season. The shawarma was okay, but logistically the stand was a nightmare. The food was made quickly but checking out, there was only 1 register (there were 2 registers there but only 1 worked). Luckily the guy who looked like the manager of the stand saw that I was paying cash and had exact change so he took my money so wouldn't have to keep waiting in the register line. Hopefully, everything will be working more smoothly for the next 80+ games.

I liked that the crowd was pretty much Nationals fans. There were a couple of jerseys from other teams. The Marlins are probably the only team in professional sports that can win 2 championships in 7 years and then 10 years later have no semblance of a nationwide fanbase. Another great part was that there was no wave. I hate the wave and was very disappointed in my fellow fans when someone tried to start the wave last opening day during extra innings. Experts predict that the Nationals could make it to the World Series this year. I'm not even going to try to stress myself a prediction. I will just relax and enjoy the season.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

I visted a Psychic last weekend

I visited a psychic last weekend. I'm not really into the paranormal; I believe in ghosts and aliens but it is not a serious belief. I don't really believe in psychics but I kind of believe in good omens and bad omens.

The psychic I visited was by the 6th and I synagouge in Chinatown, DC. I noticed it on New Years Day and wanted to check it out but it was closed even though the Open sign was on. (Now that I think of it, I was probably nervous and pushed the door when it was a pull door so I didn't get in). But today, I was determined to get a reading.

I come in around 5, there is a staircase right in front of me, but the psychic was on the bottom floor to the right, and you had to ring a doorbell for her (odd because she is a psychic, she should know who and when her customers come in). It smelled a lot like weed in there. (I am not a purveyor of the wacky tobaccky but I do know its smell). A very attractive and racially ambiguous woman answered the door. I thought the psychic since she was in Chinatown would be some middle aged chinese woman but this woman looked like she could've been Italian/Hispanic/? and probably no older than I am. (I'm 27). She had no accent, brunette with a dash of red and a very nice rack for a skinny person (sorry, I'm a guy, I notice these things) I asked for a reading but she said that I should come back around 20-30 minutes from now or schedule an appointment for a later date. No one else was in there, so I found that odd that she would request that I come back later. If this was anything else, I probably would've gone home but for the sake of the blog and for intelectual curiosity, I walked around the block for 20 or so minutes.

I get my reading. I ask for the 2 palm reading that costs 10 bucks. We sit down in the front and she asks for my name and my date of birth. I wish I was recording this because this is all off of my memory and even though I have a good one, it can be distorted. She was a fast talker too.

The reading started off with her asking my name and my date of birth. She said that she could detect some romantic feelings between me and one of my female friends. (kind of true but lets be honest, every 20-something unmarried straight male probably has some unresolved romantic feelings to their female friends) I kind of denied this by saying "isn't everybody in love". She also asked me if there was anything traumatic in my childhood because she couldn't really see anything before I was 10. I had an awesome childhood, but my house did flood during a trip to Nigeria around that time and we spent more than a year living in a hotel paid for by insurance. She also asked me to make a wish outloud and a wish in my heart. My outloud wish was about doing well in my accounting class this semester and my internal wish was about having a fun time in New York on Tuesday. Also, during the reading she said that I worry about my parents and that my mom might be depressed. As far as I know my mom isn't but I don't really think about my dad. I haven't seen him since 2007, and we've emailed each other 4 times since then. She also mentioned that I have a lot on my plate, but what 20-something in the city doesn't have a lot on their plate? She mentioned that I trust to easily. That's probably true, but it is possible that she watches NBC 4 and saw me talking about the Redskins Catfish stoory. And that I look for comfort in the wrong places. That is true. I internalize a lot of stuff, don't really ask people for help and as a result I'm a glutton with food/booze.

During the reading, she said that I am going to have a long life and live until I am 84. As an obese blackman, the odds that I live that long aren't high but, all 4 grandparents I have had lived until their 80s so hereditarily it is possible. I didn't ask how I'll die but since I know I'm not going to die until 84, part of me wants to try some autoerotic apyxsiation right now since there's no risk of me accidently dying. She saw creativity writing as something I do. (I ship stuff for my job, not really creative or a lot of writing, maybe she saw the blog or my attempts at comedy)

At the end of the reading, she said that I could ask 3 questions. The first question was would I get a job this year. She says that in the next 4 to 6 months, I will get a new job and it will be a defining job.(Good news, its a job, bad news, it means I might have wasted 2 semesters taking accounting classes at Montgomery College or maybe my classes lead to my job)

The second question I ask is if the Washington Nationals win the World Series. I don't know if she's right, I doubt it, but I don't want to spoil the season for people. If you want to know her answer, email me.(I kind of regret asking this because if the answer is yes, I've spoiled the season for myself. If the answer is no, then no matter how good the season is, I won't be able to enjoy.

The third question I asked was about a female friend, who I will refer to as X, if there was any romance there. She asked me her name and date of birth. Didn't have X's  date of birth but I told her X's name. She said that there was something there. X has feelings for me but is afraid to act upon them because X knows I have a lot on my plate. X isn't the one but X will remain a great friend and she also mentioned that I would meet my soulmmate in 5 years. The psychic said that I was on the right path and stuff will become more clear at the end of the year and in the next 4-6 months my true friends and who cares about me will be revealed. Mentioned that a have a smile on my face but pain in my heart.

I feel like I could've stayed and she would've answered more questions, but since I don't know Psychic Ettiquite, I paid and left. I didn't tip (are you supposed to tip psychics, when do you officially leave? I did get what I paid for but it seems like she was willing to keep going so should I have stayed or should I have left). Let's see how right/wrong she is.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Bobblehead Speculation

So, my favorite time of the year is up. The Nationals have released their promotional schedule. I'm all about the bobbleheads, I own somewhere between 70-80 of them. The Nationals have 3 bobblehead giveaways, they haven't announced who they were , and I just felt like speculating on who they would be.

10. Brad Wilkerson -The original face of the franchise who was eventually traded for Alfonzo Soriano. Doubt it happpens, but it would be nice to see another historical bobblehead (the team did a Frank Howard Senators bobblehead in 2009).

9. Ryan Zimmerman - The longest tenured National, face of the franchise and a $100 million contract. He already has 3 bobbleheads out (2008,2010,2012), so a fourth one isn't too out of the question, but they probably won't release a Zimmerman bobblehead in back to back years.

 8. Roger Bernadina - He isn't a starter but as a very good 4th outfielder who has been in the Nationals organization since its Montreal days, a catchy nickname, an odd fanclub, and a "Sharkarine" coming to Potomac, a bobblehead is possible.

7. Kurt Suzuki - Aside from LaRoche, the only starting position player who does not have a bobblehead. Process of elimination puts him on this list.

6. William Howard Taft - The newest racing president. At some point, they will come out with a Taft bobblehead. I do not know if they will re-release all of the racing presidents at one point or if Taft will be released by himself. I know the year they released the racing presidents bobblehead, the team was expected to be historically bad, so maybe they might wait for a really bad season to have a Taft bobblehead.

5. Jordan Zimmermann - The longest tenured starting pitcher. He's been a good young pitcher, just doesn't get a lot of wins. I would say he is also due for a bobblehead. I kind of feel that he is the "forgotten" starting pitcher. He doesn't have the first round draft pedigree of Stephen Strasburg or Ross Detwiler, the flair of Gio Gonzalez or the newness of Dan Haren.

4. Adam LaRoche - Like I said before, all the returning starting position players except for Suzuki have bobbleheads so he is due. Especially since he is returning with a new contract and a Gold Glove and Silver Slugger award.

3. Tyler Clippard - There is a compelling case for Taft, Zimmermann, LaRoche or Clippard to be a bobblehead, so I'm going out on a limb by saying Clippard will be one of them. Even though as a set-up guy, he doesn't have a sexy position, but he did a good job as a closer when Drew Storen was out last year, he has been an all star in the past. Also, the last bobblehead given out for a reliever was Chad Cordero in 2006, so I would say that this position is due. Also, is the second longest tendered National.

2. Gio Gonzalaez - He is the Nationals only 20 game winner at the moment, finalist for the Cy Young and a bubbly personality. Ladies love him, men like is hairstyle ( I LOVE his hair). If it wasn't for his alleged connection to PEDs, I would be willing to risk 10 chairshots to the head. (For the record, I believe Gio is clean. The WBC has stricter drug testing than the MLB so why would he voluntarily pitch for the US if he was dirty)

1. Bryce Harper - I think this is a no brainer. This guy has been hyped up since he was 16. He's been on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Rookie of the Year and even has his own catchphrase (clown question, bro). If there is not a Bryce Harper bobblehead night this year, I will gladly take 10 chairshots to the head.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman: Sidney, you're a Crazy Cooter, just stop

DUDE! I totally thought I was done with this Sidney Ackerman shit but nope. She keeps at it. Hopefully this is the last entry because this is just becoming a parody of itself. Last night, a bunch of Redskins fans on twitter found that Sidney was catfishing AGAIN.

The screen names in question? SportsfanInWV and his "wife" MrsP_Tricia. They followed me in December and since both of them were Redskins fans, so I followed back. I talked to them, but we weren't really close. The funny part is that you were outed 3 times in December and January as a catfish by the Redskins fanbase, it became a national story, and then you decide to create 2 more profiles to fraternize with the same group of skins fans that outed you.

January 17, 2013 - I'm randomly tweeting stuff about Sidney, about how we need to get Nev Schulman on her ass and how I still have questions, and then SportsfanInWV DMs me saying that I seem angry at her and I should probably contact her. (I really don't like DMs but I replied back and we talked and he talks about how an avi that was a pair of gloves was DMing his wife trying to get her to leave him) Don't worry, there was nothing damaging to anybody in my DMs.

January 27, 2013 - I notice MrsP_Tricia unfollowed me(yes, I have an app that lets me know who unfollows me, no I'm not an asshole that tweets about it like most of those who do) I don't do anything but I notice she follows me right back as soon as I started tweeting my "Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman" blog entries. She commented that I was in love with her, I wasn't but I kind of found it weird that someone who I wasn't close with and wasn't on twitter for most of the Sidney story was putting her 2 cents in.

January 28, 2013 - I got a text from a random Texas number asking if I was involved in the Redskins fan catfishing. I said yes. I get a reply that they want to send someone to talk to me about my story and wanted my address. I reply, "That's fine but before I give out my address, I'd like to know what news organization this is." The texts stop. I'm almost positive that was Sidney or someone associated with her. (really now, did she actually think I would give out my address to a random phone number?)

Later on January 28, 2013 - I get a DM suspicious of SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia how they came out of nowhere and have all these followers that is possible that it is Sidney. I kind of laugh it off, either way its not like I was close to them or was trying to get to know them. (Unless they are into cuckolding, I have no reason to go out of my way to befriend a random woman and her husband)

 February 5, 2013 - I unfollow the couple earlier in the day just because of the rumors flying around. I figure I don't know them, so if I piss them off by unfollowing, who cares. The situation gets hot and someone actually accuses SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia of being Sidney. I do not say anything.They deny but eventually they are asked to take a picture with their twitter handle on a piece of paper to verify their identity. They don't and both delete their accounts
People accused ToriBelle4 of being a catfish and she posted this. Some people when asked that question delete their accounts.

Catfished Again. I always found it kind of odd that MrsP_Tricia would ALWAYS make a comment whenever I tweeted out my blogs chronicling the Sidney experience. Also, I found it interesting that SportsfanInWV deleted his twitter on Superbowl Sunday but he reactivated it Tuesday and his first tweets were about the Sidney chronicles

 Today - Sidney creates an Instagram with snarky captions about some Redskins fans on twitter. I'm on there. My caption is how I beat off to her avi and text pictures of my cum. (I don't beat off to pictures and I certainly don't text pics of my cum, and besides, I don't use Instagram so I really don't care about what she says about me on there). Other skins fans weren't so lucky(she attacked people's kids. I'm not going to pretend like I'm a nice guy on the internet and I've told people to kill themselves on here but don't fuck around with pictures of peoples' kids). Sidney, just stop. You're being an attention whore. I'm willing to just walk away and just forget about you but you keep giving me reasons to call you a crazy cooter. I find it hilarious that you block me, then you create 2 new accounts to follow me with and then post hilariously inaccurate shit about me on Instagram.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: The Ending

Spring-Summer 2012 - We keep in contact with throughout the year of 2012. We don't text each other as much as we used to but we still tweet and DM each other. I invite her to some stuff throughout the year, she declines. I find out that she's doing a Redskins Podcast with Dre and LL, 2 guys from twitter that are also Redskins fans so I figure that they have at least met her at some point. At one point, she DMs me and is convinced that they are trying to kick her off the podcast. (in retrospect, she probably was trying to make sure I was on her side in case her secret comes out)

Fall 2012 - I do not remember the exact game, but Sidney invites me to a Redskins game but like 2 hours before. I thank her but I cannot go. Looking back on it, that was probably a half assed invite because there was no way I could make it from Germantown to Fed Ex Field in time for kickoff.

December 18, 2012 - Dre and LL break the story that Sidney was using fake pics. I had been suspicious just because of the mysterious nature of Sidney but I had nothing concrete. After Dre and LL outed her, she locked her account and changed her twitter name from Red_Ridn_Hood to Red_Ridn_H00d. Honestly, I didn't really care. Whoever "Sidney" was had hooked me up with 2 Redskins tickets in the past and given me $50 and had been cool to tweet with so who really cares what he/she looked like.

December 23, 2012 - Tweeting with people and somehow catfishing gets brought up and I tweet that I am 98.8% percent that Sidney is a catfish. I get 6 DMs and a couple of texts that night from her and I can tell that she's kind of pissed. I respond in the morning

December 24, 2012 - I respond and she really isn't making sense. She sends me a bunch of screenshots and threatens to sue me for slander (I'm pretty sure if that lawsuit actually went through, I'm sure the judge would dismiss it if she actually showed up in person) and threatens to subpoena my DMs.  Eventually, she blocks me on twitter and I just tell her to lose my number and I haven't communicated with her since then.

January 10, 2013 - I figure the whole Sidney Ackerman saga is over. Jeff Darlington from the NFL Network follows me on twitter and asks me to follow him so he can DM me. I do it, and I notice that he said the same to other Redskins fan so I assume it's in reference to Sidney. I do it but I never get a DM

January 19, 2013 - I find out from LL that Sidney had another screen name. "Rideordiechick" or something like that. Totally different pics but still following other athletes. I'm told to say nothing, so I do not.

January 23, 2013 - The story breaks nationally. It was kind of funny seeing other news outlets picking up the story. I already knew Sidney was a non existent person but I had no idea this would become a national story. I tweet Dan Hellie from NBC 4 that I have 3 years worth of Sidney stories and eventually NBC 4 interviews me


In the end I am still confused. I feel like this is a real life version of The Usual Suspects. Each of those stories individually is not suspicious, but looking back and reflecting, it becomes totally obvious that she was a catfish. I have not called the number I have for her. I'm curious, I have a lot of questions for her, but I don't feel the need to contact her. I religiously watch the show "Catfish" and I get pissed off when the person being tricked is really naive. I know one of the indicators of being a Catfish is not having a lot of pictures. Sidney was the exact opposite, she changed her picture every other week,The thing that is kind of funny (and a testament to how good a catfish she was) is that I endured 3 years of flakiness and her profile was of a totally different woman and still , people were confused.

                                                                          Sidney 2009

                                                                            The right is Sidney 2012

I have had a couple of people think that I had actually met her and another person on twitter says that she gave him great medical advice when he was having an emergency. Another thing is that Sidney had an account on foursquare. (If you don't know what Foursquare is, Click Here. If you don't feel like clicking, it's basically a social media app that is based on your location)I kind of believe part of her story is true (who kills off 2 parents in order to perpetrate a fraud, but then again everything about this story is weird) Funny part is that my friends Steph and Liz saw the movie Catfish in 2010 and they immediately thought of Sidney but I refused to believe them. I watched the movie myself, and I was like "no not really"  and I actually wrote a list of 10 reasons why Sidney is not a Catfish to them.
I guess the moral of this story is you should call everyone you meet on twitter a catfish. If they flip out, they are one. If they don't, they aren't.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: It's Hard to Indistinguish the Invisible from the Nonexistent

January 25, 2011 - A bunch of us decide to meet up in Bethesda at a restaurant. I invite Sidney and she actually agrees to come. The day after she is flying out to Florida or somewhere warm. The week of the event, the DC area was expecting a winter storm, so she tells me that she reschedules her flight for the day of the event. (There legitimately was a snowstorm coming so this did not seem suspicious to me at the time)

Winter/Spring 2011 - My friend Rob develops a plan to guarantee that Sidney doesn't flake. We should ask her if she wants to go to a comedy show months in advance and buy tickets so that she cannot flake out on us. We decide to buy tickets to Patrice O'neal on Friday, April 15. We all anticipate the show, 4 or 5 days she texts me saying that her softball team has a tournament on April 16th so she has to go. She looks into taking a flight in the morning but is unable to. She says that she is going to pay us back double the face value of the ticket since she can't go. I say no, I do not want to seem like an ingrate because she gave me two Redskins tickets no questions asked. Rob ends up selling the extra seat for a profit on Craigslist so it is not like he is out any money. Months later, she asks for my PayPal account and sends me $50.

April, 2011 - Out of nowhere, she mentions that I should come over for dinner at some point during a weekend. I called her out on it once, obviously no dinner happened.

May 4, 2011 - A bunch of my friends go to BGR Dupont to eat a 15.4 pound burger . I invite  Sidney and she says she might drop by the event. Our event ends, she doesn't so I text to see where she's at. She said she ended up at a friend's house in Dupont and is Skyping with a Redskins player who is still on the team. I suggest that we get a drink and she says that she'll be able to meet up in 15 minutes. 15 minutes passes, not there so I text again to see where she was at. She still hadn't left. At that point, I just went home.

Summer, 2011 - We're still in contact. She casually mentions to a common follower (who I have met and can guarantee that she is real) that she is on vacation but when she gets back, she will hold a twitter pool party. Obviously, I'm excited, and I casually bring it up to her a couple times, but nothing gets done.

November 18, 2011 -  Previously that month, we agree to meet up at a lingerie football league game in Baltimore. We text/tweet/DM and I buy tickets for myself and my friend Matt and she decides to buy tickets for her and her friends. I told her that I would buy tickets in a certain section, just to make sure we meet. Day comes, Matt and I go to the event, I send her a text to see where she was at. She texts back saying that she is at BWI picking up her friend and she will be there soon. At halftime, she says she is at the game but she didn't get tickets in our section. I see from the picture Sidney is tweeting that she is on the other side of the arena and I we exchange texts on how she should come over to my section but it doesn't happen. After the game, I hang around hopeful that we meet, she sends me a text that her battery is running low. I call/text but to no avail (I was kind of mad cause if she was with friends, she could've easily gotten my number from her phone and texted using her friend's phone) Matt and I hang out at Hooters for a while then I went home. As I was almost home, Sidney texts that she has a hotel room so if I wanted to get drunk in Baltimore, I would have crash space. (That message did me no good as I was almost home)

November 27, 2011 - Its a normal Sunday, watching football at home and my friend Matt who was following Sidney, decided to unfollow and she got mad. (Personally, if someone I had never met wanted to unfollow me, I would not care, and besides you had 10,000+ followers by then, who cares) And I think it is bad taste to publicly call out your unfollowers. I get a some texts from her. I stay out of it cause I'm not gonna tell a friend who to follow/unfollow. She tweeted something about how I told her that Matt needs help getting girls (I never told her that) and refuses to deny that. Matt's smart so he does not believe her.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: Chasing A Mystery

January, 2010 - We agree to go to a Wizards v Lakers game. I love the Wizards and she is a Lakers fan. I offer to buy as a gift for getting me to skins tickets twice, but she says something about how she has a friend working in their ticket office so she'll get really nice for free. If for some reason, that is unable to happen, she found a bunch of $ at post office that no one claimed as missing, she'll use the money to buy great seats.

January 12-26, 2010 - Earthquake happens in Haiti so she and a bunch of nurses from Johns Hopkins go down to help out. She comes back, develops whooping cough goes to the hospital for it and gets treated. Immediately, I'm I let her know that I don't care about the tickets and I just want her to be healthy. She still insists on wanting to go to game, because the Lakers come to DC once a year

January 26, 2010 - Since I know she's been sick, I keep in contact with her via text, make sure she is ok, before I go to the Verizon Center. Her friend that works there is delivering the tickets to her house in Potomac and she will drive down. (Why her friend couldn't leave a ticket in my name and her name in Willcall, I don't know but I did not question it at the time) She calls me, and I hear her coughing really bad so she is in no shape to go but she says her neighbor will deliver the ticket to me. She gives me his number and I call and text to arrange a time and place to meet up as I am already at the Verizon Center. Friend lets me know that he is about to park but after that, he doesn't text/call or return my texts and calls so I end up waiting outside of the Verizon Center. I let Sidney know and she is unable to talk to him but later on he tells her that he could not find me. ( I am a large african american fella and I was wearing an orange Gilbert Arenas jersey, I'm not hard to miss, plus, we have cell phones) Me and Sidney talk about maybe meeting up at a sports bar in the future, but we do not make definite plans.

Spring, Summer , 2010 - We keep talking via text/twitter/DM. Her father had a heart attack in May and died. She and the Redskins player I alluded to early get into an argument about flying her private plane. She mentions how some musician was trying way too to holler at her when she was in Los Angeles (I'd never heard of the guy so I'm not even sure it is worth it to namedrop and I can't even find a wikipedia page for him) and how he dropped off a bunch of dresses and a car at her place after one date. I see that the musician follows her so I assume she is telling the truth. We keep mentioning trying to meet up but no firm plans are made. At one point, I'm at tweet-up and she texts me about wanting to go to a tweet-up but she doesn't come out and I don't go out of my way to try to meet up with her. I know at one point, we talk about Cypress Hill's new album, and she offers to have B-real send me a copy, but I decline.

Week of August 15, 2010 - Sidney pisses off one of my twitter friends with conservative political talk. Somehow I get caught up in the firestorm and Sidney thought I was making fun of her behind her back and we got into a twitter argument. (I don't know, apparently me telling my friend Becky who was bothered by your birther tweets to ignore them, and doing this on a public forum where I know you can see it and then telling you that I did all this when you message me complaining Becky isn't responding to your tweets is talking shit behind your back )She forgave me later that day, but I felt weird how she apologized via text and not on twitter but for a woman that hot and rich, I overlooked it.

September, 2010 - My friend Kevin gets to know Sidney via twitter/text and he won President's Club tickets. He invites me, our common friend Jerry and Sidney.

September 16, 2010 - There is a shooting at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Sidney was a medical student there at the time so I worry about her. I send her texts to make sure she is ok and I do not get any responses. Some of her friends tweet me to see if I know the situation cause I actually live in Maryland, I tell them I have no news. Eventually news is realeased that there is only one self inflicted casualty so I stop worrying about Sidney.

September 23, 2010 - Through casual conversation on twitter, Sidney mentions she has a boyfriend and I make a joke to her that her boyfriend is the musician I alluded to early. She texts me back with the twitter handle of her boyfriend and how he is not her type and how she wants to accidently on purpose sleep with someone just so her boyfriend dumps her. And she also texts me that I should know that she likes black guys. I text back but nothing too intriguing but I do wonder what she meant when she said that she likes black guys

September 25, 2010 - This was the game Kevin won tickets to. He wants us to get there early, so we can enjoy the Presidents Club and walk around on the field as he has pregame field passes. Jerry, Kevin and I arrive early and Sidney calls me and says that her boyfriend stole her keys and that she is waiting for a locksmith and will get here when all of that is done. She doesn't show up. Luckily, we found Tracy, who is also a huge Nats fan and he used Sidney's ticket and left Tracy's ticket for Sidney at Willcall. Later on she texts me with the name and phone number of the locksmith and says I can check if needed (unsolicitad, I believed her. I dont need to check to see if you actually have a locksmith working on your house)

October 2, 2010 - I send Sidney a text about hanging out at Hard Times in Germantown for the Redskins v Eagles game. She says that she is going to Philadelphia for the game (not the first time she has road tripped for a game) but she did offer to drive me up and back to watch the game. I would've had to pay for the ticket but it would've been below face value. I decide not to go because I would be getting home near midnight and I had to wake up at 5:30 to get to work.

October 25, 2010 - Sidney texts and DMs saying that a Redskins player (still in the league but no longer with the Redskins) was coming over to her house. He facebooked her on Friday and they skyped on Saturday. Later on in October, I see that the Redskins player and his friend tweet her and they all follow each other. Also, she sends me a pic of the player in his house (I remember seeing something on tv that the player's gym was a certain color) so this also proves to me that this is true.

November 15, 2010 - I was going to watch the Redskins v Eagles game at a bar with friends but a couple of hours before the game, Sidney texts me and says that she is going to be sitting in a suite and her tickets are available. She offers to hand deliver them to me at the stadium, but I decide not to go because there was bad weather and I knew her track record of her flakiness.

Week of November 28, 2010 - We agree to go to the Redskins v Vikings game together. She agrees to pick me up from home so we can head to the stadium and tailgate together. The day before the game, she is in North Carolina but says that she will be back before the game. The day of the game, she drives back to Maryland at 5 AM takes a nap, but wakes up too late for her nap for her to go to the game.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: The Begining

So, the story broke about the Redskins Catfish this week. (For those of you who do not know, "Catfish" is a term for people online pretending to be someone they are not) I had 3 years worth of Sidney Ackerman stories, and I felt the need to share them. I ended up typing over 4000 words on her, so I deceided to split up the stories year by year, otherwise no one is going to read my ramblings.

August/September 2009 - Found Sidney's profile (RedheadedSlut) on twitter and started following cause I was still new to twitter and she was a local skins fan. We talked but she didn't follow back.

October 2, 2009 - I'm at home just on twitter, I see her tweets about being at a bar and I half jokingly say that we should drink together and she direct messages me and says she is at some DC club and says I should come out. It was late, I had to work in the morning, and I didnt have a car, so I say no, and don't come out.

October 3, 2009 - Sidney follows me back and she DMs me and asks if I want to go to the Redskins game the next day. I was having my fantasy hockey draft the next day but she says I should let her know if I ever want to go to a Redskins game because someone who was on the 2009 Redskins but no longer in the league can get her extra tickets if needed. (I don't know the legality/etiquette of naming the players involved in the catfishing, but because the legitimate press didn't, I won't but will give vague clues) I see that Sidney and the Redskins player she is talking about actually talk to each other and follow each other on twitter, so I have no reason to think she is lying. She tells me that she lives on Hackamore Lane in the River Falls neighborhood of Potomac. She also gives me her phone number and says to text her, cause it is easier. All of this is unsolicited. I never asked for tickets or asked for her number or address but I give her my number and am pretty stoked that I might be going to a Redskins game soon.

The week of October 5, 2009 - I text her Monday, saying that I want to go to the Redskins v Chiefs game on October 18th. She agrees. We text/tweet back and forth between those 2 weeks.

October 16, 2009 - Maryland is having some bad weather, so Sidney goes to Atlantic City for the weekend but says she will be back for the game.

Ocotber 18, 2009 - Due to daydrinking on the 17th, I blacked out and was too hungover to go to the game. Good news! Sidney stayed in Atlantic City because I wasn't answering texts so no harm no foul. We agree to meet up for the Redskins v Broncos game on November 15th.

October 31, 2009 - I see Cypress Hill in concert. I tweeted about it prior because I was pumped because this was the first concert I ever attended. I do not believe I specifically told Sidney about it . But when I'm at the concert, before Cypress Hill took the stage, Sidney tells me that she is backstage with B-real smoking weed with him. She knew him from a paintball tournament and they have the same birthday. (My friend Rob, who is more knowledgeable about Cypress Hill than I am is able to confirm that B-real loves paintball) Since we both happened to be at the same concert, we text back and forth, I'm trying to get her to at least come out and say hi or even try to get backstage myself. I have a good time at the concert, without seeing her, but we are still on for the Denver game. (Rob is suspicious but sometime later on, I look at some of Sidney's favorited tweets and I see that there is a tweet from B-real wishing her a happy birthday so I figure she was legitamely there.

November 11, 2009 - Sidney changes her twitter username from Redheadedslut to Red_Ridn_Hood

November 14, 2009 - Sidney's mother dies from an aneurysm. I dont have the tickets and she has to go to North Carolina for the funeral. Somehow, through StubHub, she leaves the tickets at Stubhub Willcall, all I had to give her was my email address and name.

 November 15, 2009 - Everything goes fine without a hitch, I get the tickets at Willcall. I enjoy the seats with my friend Arun. The seats were about 8 rows up from the field, and behind the Redskins bench. The last time I sat that close to a football game was when I watched high school football. She calls me afterwards to see if I had a fun time and see how everything worked out.

December 6, 2009 - During the Redskins v Saints game, the Redskins have a lead and she tweets something about having a party if the Redskins win. I let her know I am interested but no party because the Redskins lose. During the game, she texts me a pic of the 2 guys behind her and asks if they were at the game in November. I had a crappy phone so I was not able to view the pic but I remember that a woman sat directly behind me so I know it is not them.

December 9, 2009 - Through casual twitter conversation, she tells me she has a website. (It is no longer active now, but it was backed up using Wayback Machine.)Herehere and here. She tells me to sign up and become a member so I do. No payment necessary, didn't have to enter a credit card. Site was a bunch of pictures and some blogs. I don't think I visited often.

December 19-20, 2009 - There was a snowstorm in the DC area, Sidney lets me know that she might have an extra ticket for the Monday Night Football game vs the Giants.

December 21, 2009 - I am able to get the extra ticket. Again it is at StubHub Willcall, but it is no problem. I go to the game, sitting by myself but we agree to meet up after halftime. I had a problem getting texts because there was so much data in the air at FedEx Field so I ended up getting texts about 10+ minutes after they were sent. We did our best to text back and forth. The Redskins were getting blown out, it was cold, so she left early. She texts me that she's coming by my section, but with my text delay, I got the text after she left. Again, I fail to meet Sidney.