Thursday, February 21, 2013

I visted a Psychic last weekend

I visited a psychic last weekend. I'm not really into the paranormal; I believe in ghosts and aliens but it is not a serious belief. I don't really believe in psychics but I kind of believe in good omens and bad omens.

The psychic I visited was by the 6th and I synagouge in Chinatown, DC. I noticed it on New Years Day and wanted to check it out but it was closed even though the Open sign was on. (Now that I think of it, I was probably nervous and pushed the door when it was a pull door so I didn't get in). But today, I was determined to get a reading.

I come in around 5, there is a staircase right in front of me, but the psychic was on the bottom floor to the right, and you had to ring a doorbell for her (odd because she is a psychic, she should know who and when her customers come in). It smelled a lot like weed in there. (I am not a purveyor of the wacky tobaccky but I do know its smell). A very attractive and racially ambiguous woman answered the door. I thought the psychic since she was in Chinatown would be some middle aged chinese woman but this woman looked like she could've been Italian/Hispanic/? and probably no older than I am. (I'm 27). She had no accent, brunette with a dash of red and a very nice rack for a skinny person (sorry, I'm a guy, I notice these things) I asked for a reading but she said that I should come back around 20-30 minutes from now or schedule an appointment for a later date. No one else was in there, so I found that odd that she would request that I come back later. If this was anything else, I probably would've gone home but for the sake of the blog and for intelectual curiosity, I walked around the block for 20 or so minutes.

I get my reading. I ask for the 2 palm reading that costs 10 bucks. We sit down in the front and she asks for my name and my date of birth. I wish I was recording this because this is all off of my memory and even though I have a good one, it can be distorted. She was a fast talker too.

The reading started off with her asking my name and my date of birth. She said that she could detect some romantic feelings between me and one of my female friends. (kind of true but lets be honest, every 20-something unmarried straight male probably has some unresolved romantic feelings to their female friends) I kind of denied this by saying "isn't everybody in love". She also asked me if there was anything traumatic in my childhood because she couldn't really see anything before I was 10. I had an awesome childhood, but my house did flood during a trip to Nigeria around that time and we spent more than a year living in a hotel paid for by insurance. She also asked me to make a wish outloud and a wish in my heart. My outloud wish was about doing well in my accounting class this semester and my internal wish was about having a fun time in New York on Tuesday. Also, during the reading she said that I worry about my parents and that my mom might be depressed. As far as I know my mom isn't but I don't really think about my dad. I haven't seen him since 2007, and we've emailed each other 4 times since then. She also mentioned that I have a lot on my plate, but what 20-something in the city doesn't have a lot on their plate? She mentioned that I trust to easily. That's probably true, but it is possible that she watches NBC 4 and saw me talking about the Redskins Catfish stoory. And that I look for comfort in the wrong places. That is true. I internalize a lot of stuff, don't really ask people for help and as a result I'm a glutton with food/booze.

During the reading, she said that I am going to have a long life and live until I am 84. As an obese blackman, the odds that I live that long aren't high but, all 4 grandparents I have had lived until their 80s so hereditarily it is possible. I didn't ask how I'll die but since I know I'm not going to die until 84, part of me wants to try some autoerotic apyxsiation right now since there's no risk of me accidently dying. She saw creativity writing as something I do. (I ship stuff for my job, not really creative or a lot of writing, maybe she saw the blog or my attempts at comedy)

At the end of the reading, she said that I could ask 3 questions. The first question was would I get a job this year. She says that in the next 4 to 6 months, I will get a new job and it will be a defining job.(Good news, its a job, bad news, it means I might have wasted 2 semesters taking accounting classes at Montgomery College or maybe my classes lead to my job)

The second question I ask is if the Washington Nationals win the World Series. I don't know if she's right, I doubt it, but I don't want to spoil the season for people. If you want to know her answer, email me.(I kind of regret asking this because if the answer is yes, I've spoiled the season for myself. If the answer is no, then no matter how good the season is, I won't be able to enjoy.

The third question I asked was about a female friend, who I will refer to as X, if there was any romance there. She asked me her name and date of birth. Didn't have X's  date of birth but I told her X's name. She said that there was something there. X has feelings for me but is afraid to act upon them because X knows I have a lot on my plate. X isn't the one but X will remain a great friend and she also mentioned that I would meet my soulmmate in 5 years. The psychic said that I was on the right path and stuff will become more clear at the end of the year and in the next 4-6 months my true friends and who cares about me will be revealed. Mentioned that a have a smile on my face but pain in my heart.

I feel like I could've stayed and she would've answered more questions, but since I don't know Psychic Ettiquite, I paid and left. I didn't tip (are you supposed to tip psychics, when do you officially leave? I did get what I paid for but it seems like she was willing to keep going so should I have stayed or should I have left). Let's see how right/wrong she is.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Bobblehead Speculation

So, my favorite time of the year is up. The Nationals have released their promotional schedule. I'm all about the bobbleheads, I own somewhere between 70-80 of them. The Nationals have 3 bobblehead giveaways, they haven't announced who they were , and I just felt like speculating on who they would be.

10. Brad Wilkerson -The original face of the franchise who was eventually traded for Alfonzo Soriano. Doubt it happpens, but it would be nice to see another historical bobblehead (the team did a Frank Howard Senators bobblehead in 2009).

9. Ryan Zimmerman - The longest tenured National, face of the franchise and a $100 million contract. He already has 3 bobbleheads out (2008,2010,2012), so a fourth one isn't too out of the question, but they probably won't release a Zimmerman bobblehead in back to back years.

 8. Roger Bernadina - He isn't a starter but as a very good 4th outfielder who has been in the Nationals organization since its Montreal days, a catchy nickname, an odd fanclub, and a "Sharkarine" coming to Potomac, a bobblehead is possible.

7. Kurt Suzuki - Aside from LaRoche, the only starting position player who does not have a bobblehead. Process of elimination puts him on this list.

6. William Howard Taft - The newest racing president. At some point, they will come out with a Taft bobblehead. I do not know if they will re-release all of the racing presidents at one point or if Taft will be released by himself. I know the year they released the racing presidents bobblehead, the team was expected to be historically bad, so maybe they might wait for a really bad season to have a Taft bobblehead.

5. Jordan Zimmermann - The longest tenured starting pitcher. He's been a good young pitcher, just doesn't get a lot of wins. I would say he is also due for a bobblehead. I kind of feel that he is the "forgotten" starting pitcher. He doesn't have the first round draft pedigree of Stephen Strasburg or Ross Detwiler, the flair of Gio Gonzalez or the newness of Dan Haren.

4. Adam LaRoche - Like I said before, all the returning starting position players except for Suzuki have bobbleheads so he is due. Especially since he is returning with a new contract and a Gold Glove and Silver Slugger award.

3. Tyler Clippard - There is a compelling case for Taft, Zimmermann, LaRoche or Clippard to be a bobblehead, so I'm going out on a limb by saying Clippard will be one of them. Even though as a set-up guy, he doesn't have a sexy position, but he did a good job as a closer when Drew Storen was out last year, he has been an all star in the past. Also, the last bobblehead given out for a reliever was Chad Cordero in 2006, so I would say that this position is due. Also, is the second longest tendered National.

2. Gio Gonzalaez - He is the Nationals only 20 game winner at the moment, finalist for the Cy Young and a bubbly personality. Ladies love him, men like is hairstyle ( I LOVE his hair). If it wasn't for his alleged connection to PEDs, I would be willing to risk 10 chairshots to the head. (For the record, I believe Gio is clean. The WBC has stricter drug testing than the MLB so why would he voluntarily pitch for the US if he was dirty)

1. Bryce Harper - I think this is a no brainer. This guy has been hyped up since he was 16. He's been on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Rookie of the Year and even has his own catchphrase (clown question, bro). If there is not a Bryce Harper bobblehead night this year, I will gladly take 10 chairshots to the head.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman: Sidney, you're a Crazy Cooter, just stop

DUDE! I totally thought I was done with this Sidney Ackerman shit but nope. She keeps at it. Hopefully this is the last entry because this is just becoming a parody of itself. Last night, a bunch of Redskins fans on twitter found that Sidney was catfishing AGAIN.

The screen names in question? SportsfanInWV and his "wife" MrsP_Tricia. They followed me in December and since both of them were Redskins fans, so I followed back. I talked to them, but we weren't really close. The funny part is that you were outed 3 times in December and January as a catfish by the Redskins fanbase, it became a national story, and then you decide to create 2 more profiles to fraternize with the same group of skins fans that outed you.

January 17, 2013 - I'm randomly tweeting stuff about Sidney, about how we need to get Nev Schulman on her ass and how I still have questions, and then SportsfanInWV DMs me saying that I seem angry at her and I should probably contact her. (I really don't like DMs but I replied back and we talked and he talks about how an avi that was a pair of gloves was DMing his wife trying to get her to leave him) Don't worry, there was nothing damaging to anybody in my DMs.

January 27, 2013 - I notice MrsP_Tricia unfollowed me(yes, I have an app that lets me know who unfollows me, no I'm not an asshole that tweets about it like most of those who do) I don't do anything but I notice she follows me right back as soon as I started tweeting my "Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman" blog entries. She commented that I was in love with her, I wasn't but I kind of found it weird that someone who I wasn't close with and wasn't on twitter for most of the Sidney story was putting her 2 cents in.

January 28, 2013 - I got a text from a random Texas number asking if I was involved in the Redskins fan catfishing. I said yes. I get a reply that they want to send someone to talk to me about my story and wanted my address. I reply, "That's fine but before I give out my address, I'd like to know what news organization this is." The texts stop. I'm almost positive that was Sidney or someone associated with her. (really now, did she actually think I would give out my address to a random phone number?)

Later on January 28, 2013 - I get a DM suspicious of SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia how they came out of nowhere and have all these followers that is possible that it is Sidney. I kind of laugh it off, either way its not like I was close to them or was trying to get to know them. (Unless they are into cuckolding, I have no reason to go out of my way to befriend a random woman and her husband)

 February 5, 2013 - I unfollow the couple earlier in the day just because of the rumors flying around. I figure I don't know them, so if I piss them off by unfollowing, who cares. The situation gets hot and someone actually accuses SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia of being Sidney. I do not say anything.They deny but eventually they are asked to take a picture with their twitter handle on a piece of paper to verify their identity. They don't and both delete their accounts
People accused ToriBelle4 of being a catfish and she posted this. Some people when asked that question delete their accounts.

Catfished Again. I always found it kind of odd that MrsP_Tricia would ALWAYS make a comment whenever I tweeted out my blogs chronicling the Sidney experience. Also, I found it interesting that SportsfanInWV deleted his twitter on Superbowl Sunday but he reactivated it Tuesday and his first tweets were about the Sidney chronicles

 Today - Sidney creates an Instagram with snarky captions about some Redskins fans on twitter. I'm on there. My caption is how I beat off to her avi and text pictures of my cum. (I don't beat off to pictures and I certainly don't text pics of my cum, and besides, I don't use Instagram so I really don't care about what she says about me on there). Other skins fans weren't so lucky(she attacked people's kids. I'm not going to pretend like I'm a nice guy on the internet and I've told people to kill themselves on here but don't fuck around with pictures of peoples' kids). Sidney, just stop. You're being an attention whore. I'm willing to just walk away and just forget about you but you keep giving me reasons to call you a crazy cooter. I find it hilarious that you block me, then you create 2 new accounts to follow me with and then post hilariously inaccurate shit about me on Instagram.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: The Ending

Spring-Summer 2012 - We keep in contact with throughout the year of 2012. We don't text each other as much as we used to but we still tweet and DM each other. I invite her to some stuff throughout the year, she declines. I find out that she's doing a Redskins Podcast with Dre and LL, 2 guys from twitter that are also Redskins fans so I figure that they have at least met her at some point. At one point, she DMs me and is convinced that they are trying to kick her off the podcast. (in retrospect, she probably was trying to make sure I was on her side in case her secret comes out)

Fall 2012 - I do not remember the exact game, but Sidney invites me to a Redskins game but like 2 hours before. I thank her but I cannot go. Looking back on it, that was probably a half assed invite because there was no way I could make it from Germantown to Fed Ex Field in time for kickoff.

December 18, 2012 - Dre and LL break the story that Sidney was using fake pics. I had been suspicious just because of the mysterious nature of Sidney but I had nothing concrete. After Dre and LL outed her, she locked her account and changed her twitter name from Red_Ridn_Hood to Red_Ridn_H00d. Honestly, I didn't really care. Whoever "Sidney" was had hooked me up with 2 Redskins tickets in the past and given me $50 and had been cool to tweet with so who really cares what he/she looked like.

December 23, 2012 - Tweeting with people and somehow catfishing gets brought up and I tweet that I am 98.8% percent that Sidney is a catfish. I get 6 DMs and a couple of texts that night from her and I can tell that she's kind of pissed. I respond in the morning

December 24, 2012 - I respond and she really isn't making sense. She sends me a bunch of screenshots and threatens to sue me for slander (I'm pretty sure if that lawsuit actually went through, I'm sure the judge would dismiss it if she actually showed up in person) and threatens to subpoena my DMs.  Eventually, she blocks me on twitter and I just tell her to lose my number and I haven't communicated with her since then.

January 10, 2013 - I figure the whole Sidney Ackerman saga is over. Jeff Darlington from the NFL Network follows me on twitter and asks me to follow him so he can DM me. I do it, and I notice that he said the same to other Redskins fan so I assume it's in reference to Sidney. I do it but I never get a DM

January 19, 2013 - I find out from LL that Sidney had another screen name. "Rideordiechick" or something like that. Totally different pics but still following other athletes. I'm told to say nothing, so I do not.

January 23, 2013 - The story breaks nationally. It was kind of funny seeing other news outlets picking up the story. I already knew Sidney was a non existent person but I had no idea this would become a national story. I tweet Dan Hellie from NBC 4 that I have 3 years worth of Sidney stories and eventually NBC 4 interviews me


In the end I am still confused. I feel like this is a real life version of The Usual Suspects. Each of those stories individually is not suspicious, but looking back and reflecting, it becomes totally obvious that she was a catfish. I have not called the number I have for her. I'm curious, I have a lot of questions for her, but I don't feel the need to contact her. I religiously watch the show "Catfish" and I get pissed off when the person being tricked is really naive. I know one of the indicators of being a Catfish is not having a lot of pictures. Sidney was the exact opposite, she changed her picture every other week,The thing that is kind of funny (and a testament to how good a catfish she was) is that I endured 3 years of flakiness and her profile was of a totally different woman and still , people were confused.

                                                                          Sidney 2009

                                                                            The right is Sidney 2012

I have had a couple of people think that I had actually met her and another person on twitter says that she gave him great medical advice when he was having an emergency. Another thing is that Sidney had an account on foursquare. (If you don't know what Foursquare is, Click Here. If you don't feel like clicking, it's basically a social media app that is based on your location)I kind of believe part of her story is true (who kills off 2 parents in order to perpetrate a fraud, but then again everything about this story is weird) Funny part is that my friends Steph and Liz saw the movie Catfish in 2010 and they immediately thought of Sidney but I refused to believe them. I watched the movie myself, and I was like "no not really"  and I actually wrote a list of 10 reasons why Sidney is not a Catfish to them.
I guess the moral of this story is you should call everyone you meet on twitter a catfish. If they flip out, they are one. If they don't, they aren't.