Tolu Robertson, Stand-up Comedian

I finally decieded to do stand-up. I kind of wanted to try my hand at stand-up for a while, but never had the balls to do it, until recently.

I'm sure one of the factors is the fact that I made a little bit of a stir in the comedy world as Tolu Robertson . And part of it was seeing a couple of friends go to some open mike nights and doing okay. I figured I've listened to enough comedy albums (true story, I would listen to comedians' records before going to sleep or when doing homework my junior year of college), and I have enough funny stories that I can come up with 5 minutes of decent stand-up comedy.

I pretty much came up with most of my set on a lazy Sunday waiting for the Redskins v Rams game to come on. A lot of it was self referential, I figure if I'm going to go onstage and be nervous and talk, it should be about a subject I am an expert in (myself). Plus its impossible to steal material (intentional or unintential) when most of the jokes you're making are about yourself and are based on real life experiences. At an open mike once, I saw a guy pretty much do Mitch Hedberg's act but with his own material. Technically it's not stealing but when you go out and take someone's delivery and manerisms on stage, you're not being yourself and I'd rather go out on stage and bomb/suceed with my own material.

Here's video of my standup. It was performed at the Blue Banana in DC on September 25th.  I'm very self critical of myself, I still haven't watched it and I probably won't watch the video for a while. Before going on stage, I felt really nervous but once on stage, I really didn't feel anything. Maybe it was cause I knew my material, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the cheatsheet I had on the side of the stage helped me. I felt like I did a good job, considering I'm an amatuer and had no idea what I was doing. I got some groans from the Jerry Sandusky joke I did, but that inspired me to write more Jerry Sandusky material... But I am kind of mad that I forgot to include a really funny herpes joke in my set. It was fun, I can't wait to do this again

Predicting the Redskins Schedule

I'm going to try and attempt to go through game by game and predict the Redskins' record. First time I've ever tried to do this. Most seasons I convince myself that they will win 10+ games with no real reason, though last season I predicted 5 or less wins at the start and I was right.

Week 1 @ New Orleans W

I'd normally pick the Saints but considering Bountygate, I am going with the Skins for this game. Their coach and interim coach (as well as other players) are suspended for this game. I want to see the interim interim coach suspended or get thrown out to see if Skynet becomes self aware and starts coaching in this game.

Week 2 @ St. Louis W

With a third offensive coordinator in three years, Sam Bradford is slowly following the same gameplan Jason Campbell followed to mediocrity. Another road win for the Redskins.

Week 3 vs Cincinnati L

I see RGIII's first game in DC (Well Maryland technically) as a loss. With a true offseason under their belt Andy Dalton and AJ Green will find a way to expose the Redskins biggest defensive weakness, the secondary.

Week 4 @ Tampa Bay W

RGIII bounces back from his first professional loss to win big in Tampa in a nationalized televised game. I'm not buying Tampa as legitimate. I hate Josh Freeman cause he was a bad backup QB in fantasy football and I distrust college coaches making the jump to the NFL (see Spurrier, Steve; Petrino, Bobby and Saban, Nick)

Week 5 vs Atlanta L

RGIII will get his numbers but it will not be enough with Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez and Julio Jones catching passes for the other team

Week 6 vs Minnesota W

Redskins get "revenge" for the Christmas Eve game last year where Joe Webb and Toby Gearhart took over the injured Christian Ponder and Adrian Peterson. Supposedly Adrian Peterson will be healthy enough to play all 4 quarters, but the front 7 should be able to neutralize him.

Week 7 @ New York Giants W

Redskins win for the 3rd time in 3 tries vs the Giants.

Week 8 @ Pittsburgh L

Dick LeBeau and his zone blitz defense will be in midseason form and they will eat RGIII alive in this game.

Week 9 vs Carolina L

2 highly rated black quarterbacks going against each other in this game. I will give the edge to Newton in this one. Hopefully we see this matchup many times in the playoffs in future years.

Week 11 vs Philadelphia W

I am planning on going to this game (birthday weekend) and the Redskins are 8-4 when I attend their games. If for some reason I cant go, I'm sure a nagging injury from Vick will limit his effectiveness and the Redskins will capitalize off that.

Week 12 @ Dallas L

Redskins are 0-6 on Thanksgiving Day games vs the Cowboys and with a rookie quarterback playing on short rest, I do not see him being the stopper. May later in his career he will get a Thanksgiving Day win but not today.

Week 13 vs Giants L

RGIII will play well but Eli will go on a run at the end of the game to rally his team to victory.

Week 14 vs Ravens L

RGIII will hit the rookie wall and not play well against a perenially good Ravens defense.

Week 15 @ Browns W

Rookie vs Rookie QB, probably in a cold weather game. Both teams have storied pasts but have stunk as recent. Redskins win in an ugly, run dominated because Morris + Helu + Royster > Richardson and his balky knee.

Week 16 @ Eagles L

No real reasoning, just feel like the Eagles will win in this game.

Week 17 vs Cowboys W

Home game featuring 2 mediocre teams, I'll pick the home team for this one.

This season is going to be a lot like a previous Shanahan seasons, a hot start but then a regression back to reality in the 2nd half of the season. But there is stuff to look forward to. 8-8 would be the Redskins best record since Zorn's first year in DC. Plus every single Week 1 offensive starter is under 30 and only 2 Week 1 defensive starters are over 30. Maybe next year the Redskins can make a run at the playoffs.

I hope Shanahan gets a Year 4. You don't pay a guy 7 million dollars a year and give him partial GM power for 19-29(which includes my 8-8 prediction) over 3 years, but the Redskins had one of the oldest rosters in Year 1 of the Shanahan takeover and now have one of the youngest. The team is in better shape than the one he inherited.

Something I noticed today

Isn't it ironic, that Chick-Fil-A, an organization that donates to anti gay rights organizations like Focus on the Family and others, has a twitter account run by the Germantown, MD franchise with the handle @cFAGtown ?

#IYNT

Wednesday, July 3, was the first Ignite Your Natitude Tweetup, but not the first Nationals tweetup. In the spirit of twitter, all

paragraphs will be 140 characters or less...

I got there around 3:15, gates didn't open until 4, game didn't start until 6:30. People wanted the meet n greet with the players, that

was available to the first 10 people to check in. I almost got it, I was 13th in line. I probably would've gotten it if my belt had been

 tied tighter (i was essentially mooning people for a couple of seconds while running to the check in table) or if the ticket I had was

scanning properly (first time using mobile tickets so it took me a couple of swipes). My friend Tracy was able to win the meet n greet

, and I felt compelled to give him the ball I got from Livan Hernandez to have that signed. Tracy eventually got that ball signed by

Stephen Strasburg, and I kind of feel like that symbolizes a turning point of the franchise, a passing of the torch of staff aces.

Had a great time. I guess any time that the Nationals win is a good time. This was espicailly exciting because this is the first

time I've seen a Jordan Zimmermann win live(yes, I actually keep track of these things along with other stats). It's not that he doesn't

pitch well, when I go to the ballpark ( 3.65 ERA over 7 starts) but the offense never comes through for him, or he's not pitching when

the game is decieded. Its always fun nerding out with other Nats tweeters (the Center Field Gate Alliance, singing along to walkup music,

sacreligious Jesus Flores puns) even if you aren't familiar with them. I lucked out, my seat was near other tweeters I knew. One of the

things that I kind of hate about tweetups is that I tend to gravitate to people I've known previously. I need to do a better job of

introducing myself to new people and striking up conversations.

Two things really pissed me off. The special ticket offer came with 6 bucks credit for concessions. I've ordered tickets with

food credits on them before, no problem, but I was a little concerned since it was on my phone, so I asked one of the employees

working the Ignite Your Natitude Tweetup sign-in table and he tod me that it would be fine. Thinking I have 6 bucks credit, I go to

Jammin Island and order the combo with chicken and ribs and rice n beans and potato salad, only to be told that they couldn't scan the

code off my phone. (it hurt me deep to leave all that food stranded) Thinking that the stand doesn't know what they were doing, I go

to another concessions area, but I'm told the same thing. I go back to the sign in table, and another employee tells me that I need to go to

guest services, and they were able to resolve the issue. Would've been a lot easier just to tell me to go to guest services initially.

Before the food credit fiasco, I had a decent appetite, and wanted to go for the 8 pound Strasburger. I've taken doen a 6 pound milkshake

with a 1.5 lb sandwhich before, so 8 pounds of bread/meat/veggies should be no problem. I politely asked the person at the Red Loft if they

were serving the Strasburger today, she said no. TURNS OUT THEY WERE BECAUSE MY FRIEND STEPHANIE ORDERED ONE AND ATE IT WITH FRIENDS! That

is a customer service fail! This is your signature item, EVERY single employee at the Red Loft should be able to give a correct answer if

asked if its being served. If they do not know, ASK! It is a $50 burger, it is worth your time to ask. With the secrecy of when it is

 available, and the failure of tonight, I'm starting to think there is a worldwide conspiracy for me not to eat this burger. Thankfully

Stephanie saved me a slice, very succulent, and I can't to eat 8 pounds of that.

(Note that invalidates most of this rant. Turns out they weren't selling the Strasburger, but Travel Channel was at the park and filmed a special on the burger and my friend Andrea asked if she could have it afterwards and they said yes. Still, it would've been nice to have it available when a special about it is being filmed)

I wish they had charging stations for us tweeters. My droid uses its battery pretty fast and I was already on orange in the 3rd inning.

Luckily, there was a rain delay and I used that opportunity to find an outlet and charge up.

All in all, it was a great night at the ballpark, the metro ride home, that's a different story, but I'm looking forward to future baseball

tweetups, both informal and organized by the team.

Rick Eckstein, The Most Interesting Man in Washington

Hadn't blogged in a while. Part of it was lacking a computer and part of it was not having any good thoughts but here goes my thoughts on the Nationals hitting coach, Rick Eckstein and if he should stay or go.

The Nationals offense has not been good at all this year, and the past week, it has gone even colder. I'm not sure how much of that is Rick's fault though. The Nationals have scored 265 runs, have an On Base % of .304 and a Slugging % of .387, all below the MLB average. Some of that is the rash of injuries. Opening day starters Wilson Ramos, Ryan Zimmerman and Jayson Werth have spent time on the disabled list and Michael Morse, who would've been a starter for opening day if it wasn't for an injury, has only played 22 games.

Good stuff has happened under Eckstein too. 19 Year old Bryce Harper rarely looks his age when facing Major League pitching. Ryan Zimmerman won a Silver Slugger and had a 30 game hitting streak. Adam Dunn slugged 76 homers and Josh Willingham hit 40 homers and batted .263 in their 2 years here. Michael Morse hit .303 with 31 homers last year. Before his injury, Jayson Werth was playing like the Jayson Werth of old, and not the stressed out model the Nationals didn't know what to do with last year. The pitchers actually look like decent hitters.

I wanted to try and remove injuries from the situation and judge Rick Eckstein by a jury of his peers. Eckstein's first full season as the National's hitting coach was in 2009. Six other hitting coaches have been with their team as long as Eckstein (Kevin Long, Yankees;Dave Magadan, Red Sox; Brook Jacoby, Reds; Kevin Seitzer, Royals; Lloyd McClendon, Tigers; Joe Vavra, Twins). Three others have been hitting coaches since 2009 but with multiple teams (Greg Walker, White Sox and Braves; Derek Shelton, Braves and Rays; Don Baylor, Rockies and Diamondbacks). Amongst all of those coaches, Eckstein ranks last in Batting Average, On Base %, Slugging %, OPS and runs.

I did the research with an open mind. Even though the Nationals offense had been slumping, I was pro Eckstein because of all the injuries that have happened. Now that I took a step back and looked at the data, he should be let go at the end of the season. I know some of this data is "misleading" because when you can buy the best players, coaching makes a negligible difference (you know who I'm talking about). But when the Royals are hitting better than you, that's a problem. Twenty-three teams have changed their hitting coach during Rick Eckstein's tenure. The Nationals gave him a fair chance, here's to a new hitting coach in 2013.

The Search For a New Closer

Still recovering from watching Henry Rodriguez blow another game I know he only has 2 blown saves but those lines are wildly magnificient.1.1 Innings pitched 5 hits, 4 runs, 3 strikeouts and 5 wild pitches. I can work with you if you lack control or if you're prone to giving up homers but not if you're a wild pitch artist.


Only problem is who will replace Hrod as closer. Most fans would probably want Tyler Clippard or Craig Stammen.  Two words for you. ABSOLUTELY NOT!


It's not that I don't value their contribution, but I believe they serve more value in their roles as relief firemen then they would as a closer. More is at stake during a tie game with no outs and no one on or the top of the 7th with no outs and bases loaded. I would rather use them to keep the game close than save them for the 9thinning lead the nats may never get. Besides,imagine Hrod in that last situation. Hot enough for you?

Ryan Perry is the next guy that comes to my mind.his last outing had him giving up 6 runs in 2/3 of an inning. Next name.

Tom Gorzelanny. People I know do not like him, but I haven't developed a hatred for him. As a former starter I believe he can do well in the Nats bullpen. But I will pass on him as a closer until his statistics reflect what my uninformed mind thinks he can do.

This leaves 2 names that I would happily endorse as closer. Ryan Mattheus and Sean Burnett. Mattheus' career ERA is only 2.74 (small sample size, I know ). But the last time he was a regular closer was in 2008.Burnett started last year as the co closer until he became ineffective, but he was able to fix himself and is off to a great start so far this year. And his career ERA is only 3.71.Surely, my blood pressure will be lower with Mattheus or Burnett as closer then Henry Rodriguez.

Bobbleheader or Doublebobble, what sounds better?

Last Saturday was an excellent sporting day for the DC fans. The Nationals won, the Capitals won, DC United won. Too bad the Wizards weren't able to continue the winning tradition throughout the day, but they are at the point where it's more beneficial to lose than win so I'm ok with that. Other than baseball doubleheaders, this is the first time I've attended. It wasn't attended for the love of the sports, more for the love of bobbleheads.

I have 42 bobbleheads and a garden gnome. Not gonna lie, it's a bit of an addiction. First bobblehead game I attended was Jose Guillen bobblehead night, and honestly that night was not chosen because it was a bobblehead night. My friends Sarah and Kate were in town and wanted to catch a game. I dragged my friend Chris to come with us and we happened to get bobbleheads. We went to Hooters afterwards, but I digress... At first I just wanted to collect the Nationals collection, but it has spread to me collecting all the DC pro sports teams. Usually my method is to buy multiple tickets so I can go through the turnstiles and collect extra bobbleheads and then trade those on Craigslist, but last fall I went a little crazy with Bill Me Later option on Ebay and grew my collection that way.

Anyways, so my friend Mike, who is also into bobbleheads, found out about John Wall Bobblehead Night back in January. The Wizards did not do a good job of hyping it up until March. Originally it was not on the promotions page and Mike found it on a random link of the site. Also, this was about the time where DC Sports Bog was doing a story on how cheap Wizards tickets were to acquire on the secondary market. I went on StubHub and bought 4 tickets for 30 bucks, retail price 40 back in early February. I actually did periodically check to see if I could've gotten a better deal, and yes I could've bought 10 tickets for 50 if I had waited.

For the Nationals, I just ordered the tickets directly from the team. I ordered a 5 game flex plan and the games I chose were Opening Day, the three bobblehead games, and I have a voucher for a game, which I will probably use for Harperkkah. I'm not sure when I realized that both games were on the same day, but I'm sure I was excited. I just wished that the Nationals game was at 1:05 instead of 4:05 just so I would have more time to get to the Verizon Center for the 7:00 game.

The game started at 4:05. They started selling 5 dollar Day of Game tickets at 1:30. I got there before 12:30. I am not sure what is more sad, that I got there more than 3 and a half hours for a baseball game or that I was not the first person in line, there were about 10 people ahead of me. I engaged in polite conversation with my line mates about Nationals games and how we hate tourists and I was easily able to acquire a 5 dollar ticket to go with my real ticket so I could get 2 Stephen Strasburg Bobbleheads.

I'm paranoid, so I always include a change of clothing so that I am not recognized when I go to double dip for a bobble. I started doing this when after Frank Howard Bobblehead Night. It was raining, so there weren't as many people going through the gates so it was easy to recognize people. I had 4 tickets, and they stopped me at 3 but I got my friend to walk by so I could get the 4th.

With 3 hours to kill before the game, I hung out with Matt, Jen, Dave, TJ and Lara at one of the restaurants, the Red Porch. I was very disappointed that they were not serving The Strasburger. I understand you cannot have 8 pounds of burger ready on a whim so you have to limit the days when it's available. BGR, the Burger Joint, has a policy of calling 24 hours in advance if you want to go for its 15.4 lb burger, and you have to leave your credit card number with them. But it was a nice day out, and bobblehead nights pretty much guarantee that you will have a huge crowd that will be arriving early, and its Strasburg Bobblehead Night. IF YOU HAVE A SPECIALTY ITEM BASED ON A PLAYER, IT SHOULD BE A FEDERAL CRIME IF IT ISN'T OFFERED ON THAT PLAYER'S (INSERT PROMOTIONAL ITEM HERE) GIVEAWAY NIGHT!

We tried to get Jordan Zimmermann to sign Matt's ball, but he was not by the dugout. We were able to wave at Drew Storen and Mike Rizzo though. Normally, baseball is my focus at baseball games but with the Capitals in the playoffs, they were the priority. Mike, Matt and I were able to get a great position at the Red Loft. We had a nice view of the field and when we turned around to look at the tv to pay attention to the game, we had a nice railing to lean on. So nice that some woman asked me if she could take my place since she was shorter and part of my attention was diverted to the tvs behind. I immediately told her no.

I have no regrets. I doubt it, but I kind of hope she's reading this. Lets be honest, if you're going to ask a random guy to give up his spot, it helps if you're hot and among female friends. She was average at best and among 2 dudes. Also, you're wearing a Red Sox cap. Maybe if you were actually a fan of the Nationals, I would've been more gracious and let you have my spot. But for a Boston fan, especially when the Caps are playing Boston, NO! Another thing, The Red Porch is not a ticketed area, its first come first serve. If you don't like the view you have, you have seats you purchased and are more than welcome to sit there.

I hate leaving games early but sometimes it's a necessary evil. I left early last week. It was a calculated risk. It was the bottom of the 6th inning, Nationals were up 3-1 and the Capitals were tied after regulation. We figured we could get the bobblehead and be able to chill and watch both games at the Green Turtle.

We met up with my friend Megan at Verizon Center and got our bobbleheads. Mike and I had 2 tickets each cause we're addicts. Matt forgot his ticket at home so he had to buy another ticket at the game. We settled in at Green Turtle with the Nationals reaching its conclusion and the Capitals game in OT. (On a side note, it should be a federal crime to operate a sports bar and not have high definition tvs. random side note, I'm not calling out any bars...) Nats won easily, and within seconds of Edwin Jackson and Kristina Akra getting doused with Gatorade , Backstrom scored the game winning goal in the 2nd OT.

The game wasn't that interesting. Cleveland got out to an 8-2 lead and never really looked back. The Wizards kept it close so it wasn't totally bad, but I still have hope for next year. Nothing exciting really happened, Wizards crowds aren't really full of life except during the Chick Fil A fowl shots promotions and the team has been horrible this year. But I think they are in a good position for the future, lots of youth and the only really bad contract on the team is Rashard Lewis but that expires next year. 

I was able to get four bobbleheads total, 2 Strasburgs and 2 John Walls. I traded the extra Strasburg for an Alex Ovechkin bobblehead from the 2008 season, so that means I have 3 different Ovi bobbleheads and the Wall bobblehead is being traded for a Deshawn Stevenson bobblehead.