Sunday, April 1, 2012

My 10 Commandments of Twitter

This was a trend about a month ago and I had a lot of fun tweeting and coming up with mine, so I figured I'd make mine into a blog post, and expound on my reasons why these are mine.

 1. If you have to ask for a follow then you're doing it wrong

I follow over 1900 people, I'm not exactly picky over who makes it into my timeline. I'll usually look to see we have common interests, or if we have met in real life before I follow back. If someone tweets me "hey, can you follow me," I make it a point to not follow because I feel like they are being rude. If you want someone to follow you, you should follow them first and interact with them and hopefully they will see that you're an interesting tweeter and they will follow back.

I've made exceptions, like one guy the first thing he tweeted me was that he's new on twitter and a Redskins fan. I had no problem following him back even though he asked, but he did give me a good reason to follow.

2. I have no problem with you tweeting about who unfollowed you, but calling them out by name is pretty pointless.

When unfollowr and other software came out, it was pretty cool. It was great coming up with a way to find out who unfollowed you, and it was actually cool to call out that twitter account that followed you just to get a follow back and then unfollowed.

But once everyone else who wanted that software got it, that novelty wore off. Besides you, nobody else really cares what accounts unfollow you. I use it and I sometimes tweet passive aggressive stuff about the people who unfollow me, but I'll never list them by name. I once had a guy follow me, then unfollow me a day after. That probably warranted me calling him out by name, but I didn't. What is the purpose, it makes you look like a boring douche.  Besides, If I unfollow you for a certain reason and I see you calling me out by name, you have just reaffirmed my decision.

I got called out for unfollowing one time. It was by a guy who I followed, and he followed me back but we never tweeted each other over the period of 6 months. One day, I looked at his tweets, they really weren't interesting so I unfollowed. I figure I'm doing both of us a favor.The day after I see that he called me out on it, so I just asked him what's the point, you look like a douche and I got blocked. He still never answered my question. I don't know if he expected me to refollow him after he called me out, but oh well.

3. Use the DM Option Sparingly

To me, a direct message is like a voicemail. I hate checking both and I usually only check them just to get the annoying icon off my phone. I understand some things have to be DMed, and I'm not going to hate on people for that but auto DMs serve no no purpose. I've never gone to a site or Facebook page because of a DM.

4. Try to use proper spelling and grammar

I know its just twitter, but at least try. Its just twitter, but this is a social network where you are judged on how you write. At least make a token attempt to spell/use grammar. I'm not going to be too hard on you for typing "u" instead of "you" or messing up (there/their/they're or you're/your) and I understand trying to fit something in 140 characters, something is gonna give. But no joke, I once got this tweet. "now ff'ing yu. Kindly ff bak swits" Ummm.... You broke rule number 1 and you spelled 2 words correctly in your tweet. Go away. Its kind of funny cause she blocked me too. Whats the point of blocking someone who doesnt want to follow you 

5. Reserve block button only for harassing tweeters

I try not to use the block button, I only use it when I suspect someone of being a spam account. I've only blocked somebody once because of content. It was one of those twitter accounts that randomly tweet their mixtapes out at random people and they got mad when I said I wouldn't listen. I regret not coming back with something insulting and clever. Nowadays you can call me a cunt and a jap I won't block you (yes this actually happened)

Redsox reporter, and former Orioles reporter (I'm not going to mention her by name because she will probably sue me for defamation of character or she will tweet, whine and complain about me, but there is enough clues to figure out who it is) recently blocked me. I never had a problem with her,even though it seemed as if half of Baltimore did. Last week, her parody account got shut down so I tweeted "The (Parody account) is gone? I never got a chance to say goodbye." She doesn't follow me so the only way she could have seen what I tweeted is if she was actively searching tweets to the parody account. And I didn't tweet anything insulting or rude. She tweeted me "Wow you turned into a dbag huh?" And then she blocked me. I tweeted a non rude fact about a public figure and I get blocked? Makes me think she's crazy

6. Foursquare is an awesome tool, but we don't need to know about your metro stop or other mundane check-ins
I use foursquare, and I love it but save the send to twitter option in foursquare for interesting check-ins. Like to bars, restaurants, theater events or sporting events. No one really cares about what metro stop you're at or the fact that you're shopping for groceries.

 7. Do not ask me to listen to your podcast or mixtape if I don't know you

Haven't gotten a request in a while, but when I did, it was pretty annoying having random people tweet their mixtape/podcast at me. If I don't know you, I don't care about your mixtape/podcast (unless its sports related)

8. If you don't like my tweets, unfollow

This one is a biggie, and even I have trouble adhering to it. Certain twitter accounts were created with a niche market (even mine). I won't be mad if you decide to unfollow me because of something I said, but if you're going to be one of those people who mention their disdain when I tweet certain words or tweet about certain subjects, you're better off dealing with it or just unfollowing. I will not be offended. It's my twitter account, I created it to express myself, not to entertain you.

9. Do not steal tweets

Self explanatory. Be creative, and come up with your own tweets. If you can't just hit the RT button.

10. Remember this is a social website. Be merry and talk with fellow tweeters & make real life friends

Twitter is the only social media site where you actually go out of your way to meet strangers. Facebook was pretty much created to reunite with old friends and Myspace was created to see who could have the coolest wallpaper or background song. I never went out of my way to meet someone I know from those sites, well maybe one person, but I digress.. My point, it's kind of fun going to tweet-ups and meeting people you know solely from twitter.


  1. Don't lie, you cunty jap, you meet people off MySpace!

    1. I think the only person I met off myspace was you