8 Down, 22 to go

One of the items on my bucket list is to watch a game in all 30 active MLB stadiums. So far, I have done 8 of them (DC, Baltimore, New York Mets, Miami, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Chicago Cubs and most recently Oakland).

I went out to Oakland on May 9th. I couldn't sleep the night before (combination of a night class and being excited for the trip). Flight was uneventful but late. It was delayed a little bit because they were voluntarily bumping people. United was giving people $500 in vouchers for people that wanted to be bumped so if I wasn't meeting a friend, I would've been all over that. I could've used that to finance a trip to Seattle or another stadium next year.

Once I landed in San Francisco, I headed straight to the BART Station to get to O.Co Coliseum ASAP because my friend Kevin was waiting. If you know the system, BART isn't hard to use, but for newbies it is. Maps are not widely available in the stations, I really didn't find the trains or stations well labeled and everything runs on the same line. I got lost twice going the stadium. On the plus side, I did hear multiple announcements that every single elevator and escalator was working in their system (This is something DC's Metro will NEVER be able to claim).

I got to the Coliseum with plenty of time before first pitch, and met up with Kevin. We were splitting a hotel room nearby but we decided just to go to the game since it was closer. Once inside, we met up with Liza and Taylor; some twitter friends who are die-hard Oakland Athletics fans. We hung out and talked by the Nats bullpen, since Liza is a Gio Gonzalez fan. We were able to get his autograph, as well as Jerry Blevins. The game didn't go as well though. This was Doug Fister's first start all year, so he got hit pretty hard. I was impressed that he did not walk anybody though. 

We had really awesome seats, Mike Rizzo, the General Manager of the Nationals sat 1 section over from us. I was able to get his autograph as well. I came fairly close to getting an Anthony Rendon foul ball but the guy behind me got it. Ushers were very strict considering the stadium was halfway full. They gave 1 guy a hard time because he was in the correct section and row, but not the right seat (in a mostly empty row). Met a woman from Germantown that was out here for a conference. (I never say I'm from DC when I go on trips because I've never actually lived in the city and I don't wanna be called out if I actually meet someone from there). She didn't believe I traveled from the East Coast just for the game until I mentioned I was from Germantown. After the game, Kevin and I tried to go to In-N-Out burger but they don't serve walk ins after 1030. We ended up just going to the Jack-In-The-Box and the beer store across from our hotel.

The next day, we went to Lightning Tavern for brunch. I had a Living Social deal for them, and bottomless mimosas are always good. The breakfast burrito I had was definitely in the top 3 (Ely's Pancake House and Deluca's are 1&2) and loved that the mimosas were 90% champagne and 10% orange juice. After the meal, we went to Bullit. 

We had 40s there (9 bucks but they come with condoms so I feel that it's worth it. I think I had a couple of beers there but I don't really remember). After Bullit, Kevin and I went to the Mission Area of San Francisco for the Kink.com porn tour.

This was probably the best non-baseball part of the trip. For those of you not in the know in the porn world, in 2006 Kink.com purchased the San Francisco Armory, which is registered on the National Register of Historic Places. Our tour guide was a guy named Dane, who actually does porn for Kink.com. We saw the props, some of the room sets and even learned some history. Star Wars shot some of its scenes here. Technically, I was on a porn site, because the lounge upstairs has cameras streaming for their site. I even got some DVDs and a shot glass to remember my visit, Dane cut me a deal and only charged me for 1 DVD.

Tour ended around 4:30 and since the game started at 6, Kevin and I went right around the corner to Taqueria La Cumbre. They were on Man vs Food (that's pretty much how I choose where I eat when I travel, do I have an internet deal for you or were you on TV). La Cumbre is supposedly the first place to make Mission Style burritos (overstuffed like Chipotle). We took ours to go. I wish I took a picture because my carnitas burrito was as big as my forearm.

For game 2, we sat with Liza in the right field bleachers. I talked to a Nats fan living in San Francisco, and she said that we would get eaten alive up there but it was fine. I guess it helps when you're friends with one of the bleacher crew, happen to be a 5'10" 300+ lb male wearing a bacon hat and have a 6' 7" 230+  male with you. This was a heart breaker. First time I'd ever seen an opponent walk off. Rafael Soriano gets a lot of the blame for blowing the save, but I am more mad at Danny Espinosa's 2 base error that chased Tanner Roark from the game with only 95 pitches in 7.2 innings. Also, bringing in Tyler Clippard (one of your best relievers) for 1 out was kind of questionable. I would've let him pitch the 9th unless he got into any trouble. Being that it was firework night, and it was still very light out after 9 innings, it was probably good that this game went into extra innings. Fireworks were actually kind of fun to watch. They were set to the music of Journey. I kind of want to go to the next firework night, it will be set to the music of Super Mario Brothers, but I don't have $ to fly to Oakland just for baseball (again). After the game, I went back to the hotel and crashed because of a long day of  jet-lag/shower beers/bottomless mimosas and 40s.

Sunday, Kevin and I finally went to In-N-Out Burger. I had a 4X4 animal style with animal style fries. Loved the burger, fries were meh. These fries were made fresh, and I don't think my body is used to that so I did not appreciate it. After food, we went to Wal-Mart to buy beer (classy I know). I figure I'm probably never going to have the opportunity to buy beer at Wal-Mart ever again, I might as well. We went to the game, sat in Right Field with Liza again. I'd like to forget this game ever happened but I loved how the fans chanted "Werth You Suck" at Jayson Werth (only because he was playing RF and not because of his actual abilities) but Jayson seemed to be into it.

After the game, Kevin and I ventured into San Francisco to eat at King of Noodles (I had an Amazon.com coupon for it and it had been on Anthony Bourdain's The Layover). I had dumplings and soup. Usually that's just an appetizer for me, but these soups are LARGE. 

I couldn't even finish it. The dumplings were good too. And prices were great. With the Amazon deal, our bill was $5 for 2 beers, 2 soups and 24 dumplings. Afterwards,we barhopped and then returned to our hotel to pack for our early morning flights.

Overall, Oakland/San Francisco was fun. O.Co Coliseum gets a lot of criticism for being a dump, but I didn't think it was that bad. The seats seamed to be new and in working order (something that could not be said for RFK). The tarping of  most of the upper deck gave it more of an intimate feel (which could be good or bad) but if the stadium is a sellout (like it was Saturday), they should untarp and sell those seats. My major criticism was that you could hardly see the field from the concourse. The Coliseum is built for you to sit in your seat and watch football/baseball. I regret not eating much of the stadium food. I had a novelty sized corndog on Friday but I heard their barbecue is pretty good.

Not sure what my next new stadium will be. I will be in Pittsburgh in a couple of weeks but I had been there already. Most likely my next one will be Yankees, Tampa Bay, Houston or Atlanta.

An "All Music " Lineup

Blog muscles were atrophying (would've done one on my trip to NY, but I didn't have pictures) and with the past couple of losses, I figured we needed a fun blog post.

During one of the games, I thought about what would be my favorite Washington Nationals lineup of all time based on their walk-up music. And I even decided to take it a step further and create a balanced 25 man roster just based on this.


Here's my list

C - Ivan Rodriguez - Check Yo Self - Ice Cube
1B - Matt Stairs - Stone Cold Steve Austin Wrestling Entrance Music
2B - Alex Cora - Don Omar and Lucenzo -Danza Kuduro
SS - Christian Guzman - How We Do - The Game (I also loved it when the Nats would have the ZZZZZZZZ on their digital display for Christian GuZman")
3B - Anthony Rendon - Still D.R.E. - Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg (or Lion, whatever he's calling himself these days)
LF - Bryce Harper - It's Tricky - Run DMC
CF - Jayson Werth - Dazed and Confused - Led Zeppelin 
RF - Ian Desmond - I Wear my Stunna Glasses at Night - The Federation and E-40 (Yes, Ian Desmond played 7.1 innings in Right Field in his Nationals career, which makes him eligible for Right Field in my All Music Roster)

Bench
2B/SS - Danny Espinosa - Turn the Page - Bob Seger
LF/RF/1B - Adam Dunn - Turn the Page - Metallica
CF Nyjer Morgan - Blow the Whistle - Too Short 
C/1B/LF/RF Robert Fick - Dear Mama - Tupac
1B/LF/RF - Michael Morse - Take on Me - A-ha

SP Ross Detwiler - Wherever I may Roam - Metallica
SP Stephen Strasburg - Seven Nation Army - White Stripes (I know, this is Baltimore's anthem but I love the beat)
SP Gio Gonzalez - House Party - Meek Mill and Young Chris
SP John Lannan - My Own Summer (Shove it) - Deftones
SP Jason Marquis Run this Town - Jay Z, Rihanna and Kanye West

RP Chad Cordero - King Nothing - Metallica 
RP Drew Storen - Bad Company - Five Finger Death Punch
RP Tyler Clippard - Ready or Not - Fugees
RP Todd Coffey - Ultimate Warrior Wrestling Entrance Music
RP Matt Capps - Final Countdown - Europe 
RP Ryan Mattheus - Firework - Katy Perry
RP Michael Gonzalez - Cracks - Freestylers (I needed a situational lefty in my All time Musical roster)

I don't know how many wins this roster would put out, but I would love to see (and hear) this 25 man roster play 162 games.

Celebrity Deathpool

Kevin B., Matt D, and I decieded to create a celebrity deathpool for money. Here are the rules.

1. Have your pick in by 11:59 PM Sunday May 12 Eastern Time. You can make a pic by leaving a comment in the comment section of this blog. Be sure to include contact info (email or twitter handle)

2. Cost is a penny a day. For example, if the pool lasts 30 days, all the losers should PayPal the winner 30 cents. (Please don't be a flake)

3. Anyone alive is eligible but coma patients are a case by case basis, decided by the Deathpool Committee (Me, Kevin and Matt)

4. Each person can only make 1 pick. At the end of 6 months if no one in our celebrity deathpool has passed, then everyone is required to make totally new picks.

Opening Day 2013: 6 In A Row

This was probably the 2nd most hyped Opening Day for the Washington Nationals that I have ever been to. (Note, I did not attend Opening Day before 2007). The most hyped (2008) was hyped because of the grand opening of the stadium, this time the hype was based on the product on the field.

Getting tickets was kind of strange. Last year, I was able to buy a 5 game plan that included Opening Day. This year, my 5 game plan did not have it included. There was a presale for opening day for full and partial season ticket holders back in February, so I was able to have my friend Jerry, who is a partial season ticket holder snag two tickets for me and my friend Jesse.

I got to the area around 830 AM and walked by the stadium and saw that there was already a line for $5 tickets. Those tickets weren't going on sale for another 2 hours. Jesse and I ended up starting pregaming at my friend Kim's house with bagels and beer and later on at the new Gordon Biersh. It was actually nice to go to a place in the area that served beer and had decent food. The Bullpen/Fairgrounds area is fun but with no decent food and only beer (no liquor) it's only so much fun.

We eventually made it into the stadium and onto the Scoreboard Walk where we saw some familiar people in friends and beer vendors. I'm glad that the Nationals still do $5 beers before first pitch, but I am disappointed that they no longer serve Pilser Urquell. At around noon, Jesse and I got to our seats so we can see the full introductions of the roster of both teams. Our seats were in left field, section 107. These were the best seats I have ever had for Opening Day.

This was the third time in six home openers that the Nationals won. Looking at the box score, with only 2 runs scored the whole game and the Marlins only getting to 3rd base once, it looks like a boring game but it wasn't. Bryce Harper hit a home run in his first two at bats of the season and fellow budding superstar Stephen Strasburg took care of business in 7 innings on the mound. After Harper's 2nd home run, I started doing the "We're not Worthy" bow from Wayne's World for the rest of his at bats.

During the 7th Inning Stretch, the Nationals played "Take on Me," which used to be Michael Morse's song. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, that is kind of cold-hearted to trade a player and still use his song but I like that the Nationals found a song that the fans have gotten into and it has meaning to DC baseball fans. It beats trying to rip off the Red Sox and play "Sweet Caroline."

During the game, I got a Shawarma from Shawafel, one of the new stands. I like that the Nationals go out of their way to include local food in their stadium (Ben's Chili Bowl, Hard Times, and formerly Mayorga Coffee and Five Guys), but they did not do a good job of hyping of the new stands this off-season. The shawarma was okay, but logistically the stand was a nightmare. The food was made quickly but checking out, there was only 1 register (there were 2 registers there but only 1 worked). Luckily the guy who looked like the manager of the stand saw that I was paying cash and had exact change so he took my money so wouldn't have to keep waiting in the register line. Hopefully, everything will be working more smoothly for the next 80+ games.

I liked that the crowd was pretty much Nationals fans. There were a couple of jerseys from other teams. The Marlins are probably the only team in professional sports that can win 2 championships in 7 years and then 10 years later have no semblance of a nationwide fanbase. Another great part was that there was no wave. I hate the wave and was very disappointed in my fellow fans when someone tried to start the wave last opening day during extra innings. Experts predict that the Nationals could make it to the World Series this year. I'm not even going to try to stress myself a prediction. I will just relax and enjoy the season.

I visted a Psychic last weekend

I visited a psychic last weekend. I'm not really into the paranormal; I believe in ghosts and aliens but it is not a serious belief. I don't really believe in psychics but I kind of believe in good omens and bad omens.

The psychic I visited was by the 6th and I synagouge in Chinatown, DC. I noticed it on New Years Day and wanted to check it out but it was closed even though the Open sign was on. (Now that I think of it, I was probably nervous and pushed the door when it was a pull door so I didn't get in). But today, I was determined to get a reading.

I come in around 5, there is a staircase right in front of me, but the psychic was on the bottom floor to the right, and you had to ring a doorbell for her (odd because she is a psychic, she should know who and when her customers come in). It smelled a lot like weed in there. (I am not a purveyor of the wacky tobaccky but I do know its smell). A very attractive and racially ambiguous woman answered the door. I thought the psychic since she was in Chinatown would be some middle aged chinese woman but this woman looked like she could've been Italian/Hispanic/? and probably no older than I am. (I'm 27). She had no accent, brunette with a dash of red and a very nice rack for a skinny person (sorry, I'm a guy, I notice these things) I asked for a reading but she said that I should come back around 20-30 minutes from now or schedule an appointment for a later date. No one else was in there, so I found that odd that she would request that I come back later. If this was anything else, I probably would've gone home but for the sake of the blog and for intelectual curiosity, I walked around the block for 20 or so minutes.

I get my reading. I ask for the 2 palm reading that costs 10 bucks. We sit down in the front and she asks for my name and my date of birth. I wish I was recording this because this is all off of my memory and even though I have a good one, it can be distorted. She was a fast talker too.

The reading started off with her asking my name and my date of birth. She said that she could detect some romantic feelings between me and one of my female friends. (kind of true but lets be honest, every 20-something unmarried straight male probably has some unresolved romantic feelings to their female friends) I kind of denied this by saying "isn't everybody in love". She also asked me if there was anything traumatic in my childhood because she couldn't really see anything before I was 10. I had an awesome childhood, but my house did flood during a trip to Nigeria around that time and we spent more than a year living in a hotel paid for by insurance. She also asked me to make a wish outloud and a wish in my heart. My outloud wish was about doing well in my accounting class this semester and my internal wish was about having a fun time in New York on Tuesday. Also, during the reading she said that I worry about my parents and that my mom might be depressed. As far as I know my mom isn't but I don't really think about my dad. I haven't seen him since 2007, and we've emailed each other 4 times since then. She also mentioned that I have a lot on my plate, but what 20-something in the city doesn't have a lot on their plate? She mentioned that I trust to easily. That's probably true, but it is possible that she watches NBC 4 and saw me talking about the Redskins Catfish stoory. And that I look for comfort in the wrong places. That is true. I internalize a lot of stuff, don't really ask people for help and as a result I'm a glutton with food/booze.

During the reading, she said that I am going to have a long life and live until I am 84. As an obese blackman, the odds that I live that long aren't high but, all 4 grandparents I have had lived until their 80s so hereditarily it is possible. I didn't ask how I'll die but since I know I'm not going to die until 84, part of me wants to try some autoerotic apyxsiation right now since there's no risk of me accidently dying. She saw creativity writing as something I do. (I ship stuff for my job, not really creative or a lot of writing, maybe she saw the blog or my attempts at comedy)

At the end of the reading, she said that I could ask 3 questions. The first question was would I get a job this year. She says that in the next 4 to 6 months, I will get a new job and it will be a defining job.(Good news, its a job, bad news, it means I might have wasted 2 semesters taking accounting classes at Montgomery College or maybe my classes lead to my job)

The second question I ask is if the Washington Nationals win the World Series. I don't know if she's right, I doubt it, but I don't want to spoil the season for people. If you want to know her answer, email me.(I kind of regret asking this because if the answer is yes, I've spoiled the season for myself. If the answer is no, then no matter how good the season is, I won't be able to enjoy.

The third question I asked was about a female friend, who I will refer to as X, if there was any romance there. She asked me her name and date of birth. Didn't have X's  date of birth but I told her X's name. She said that there was something there. X has feelings for me but is afraid to act upon them because X knows I have a lot on my plate. X isn't the one but X will remain a great friend and she also mentioned that I would meet my soulmmate in 5 years. The psychic said that I was on the right path and stuff will become more clear at the end of the year and in the next 4-6 months my true friends and who cares about me will be revealed. Mentioned that a have a smile on my face but pain in my heart.

I feel like I could've stayed and she would've answered more questions, but since I don't know Psychic Ettiquite, I paid and left. I didn't tip (are you supposed to tip psychics, when do you officially leave? I did get what I paid for but it seems like she was willing to keep going so should I have stayed or should I have left). Let's see how right/wrong she is.

Bobblehead Speculation

So, my favorite time of the year is up. The Nationals have released their promotional schedule. I'm all about the bobbleheads, I own somewhere between 70-80 of them. The Nationals have 3 bobblehead giveaways, they haven't announced who they were , and I just felt like speculating on who they would be.

10. Brad Wilkerson -The original face of the franchise who was eventually traded for Alfonzo Soriano. Doubt it happpens, but it would be nice to see another historical bobblehead (the team did a Frank Howard Senators bobblehead in 2009).

9. Ryan Zimmerman - The longest tenured National, face of the franchise and a $100 million contract. He already has 3 bobbleheads out (2008,2010,2012), so a fourth one isn't too out of the question, but they probably won't release a Zimmerman bobblehead in back to back years.

 8. Roger Bernadina - He isn't a starter but as a very good 4th outfielder who has been in the Nationals organization since its Montreal days, a catchy nickname, an odd fanclub, and a "Sharkarine" coming to Potomac, a bobblehead is possible.

7. Kurt Suzuki - Aside from LaRoche, the only starting position player who does not have a bobblehead. Process of elimination puts him on this list.

6. William Howard Taft - The newest racing president. At some point, they will come out with a Taft bobblehead. I do not know if they will re-release all of the racing presidents at one point or if Taft will be released by himself. I know the year they released the racing presidents bobblehead, the team was expected to be historically bad, so maybe they might wait for a really bad season to have a Taft bobblehead.

5. Jordan Zimmermann - The longest tenured starting pitcher. He's been a good young pitcher, just doesn't get a lot of wins. I would say he is also due for a bobblehead. I kind of feel that he is the "forgotten" starting pitcher. He doesn't have the first round draft pedigree of Stephen Strasburg or Ross Detwiler, the flair of Gio Gonzalez or the newness of Dan Haren.

4. Adam LaRoche - Like I said before, all the returning starting position players except for Suzuki have bobbleheads so he is due. Especially since he is returning with a new contract and a Gold Glove and Silver Slugger award.

3. Tyler Clippard - There is a compelling case for Taft, Zimmermann, LaRoche or Clippard to be a bobblehead, so I'm going out on a limb by saying Clippard will be one of them. Even though as a set-up guy, he doesn't have a sexy position, but he did a good job as a closer when Drew Storen was out last year, he has been an all star in the past. Also, the last bobblehead given out for a reliever was Chad Cordero in 2006, so I would say that this position is due. Also, is the second longest tendered National.

2. Gio Gonzalaez - He is the Nationals only 20 game winner at the moment, finalist for the Cy Young and a bubbly personality. Ladies love him, men like is hairstyle ( I LOVE his hair). If it wasn't for his alleged connection to PEDs, I would be willing to risk 10 chairshots to the head. (For the record, I believe Gio is clean. The WBC has stricter drug testing than the MLB so why would he voluntarily pitch for the US if he was dirty)

1. Bryce Harper - I think this is a no brainer. This guy has been hyped up since he was 16. He's been on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Rookie of the Year and even has his own catchphrase (clown question, bro). If there is not a Bryce Harper bobblehead night this year, I will gladly take 10 chairshots to the head.

Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman: Sidney, you're a Crazy Cooter, just stop

DUDE! I totally thought I was done with this Sidney Ackerman shit but nope. She keeps at it. Hopefully this is the last entry because this is just becoming a parody of itself. Last night, a bunch of Redskins fans on twitter found that Sidney was catfishing AGAIN.

The screen names in question? SportsfanInWV and his "wife" MrsP_Tricia. They followed me in December and since both of them were Redskins fans, so I followed back. I talked to them, but we weren't really close. The funny part is that you were outed 3 times in December and January as a catfish by the Redskins fanbase, it became a national story, and then you decide to create 2 more profiles to fraternize with the same group of skins fans that outed you.

January 17, 2013 - I'm randomly tweeting stuff about Sidney, about how we need to get Nev Schulman on her ass and how I still have questions, and then SportsfanInWV DMs me saying that I seem angry at her and I should probably contact her. (I really don't like DMs but I replied back and we talked and he talks about how an avi that was a pair of gloves was DMing his wife trying to get her to leave him) Don't worry, there was nothing damaging to anybody in my DMs.

January 27, 2013 - I notice MrsP_Tricia unfollowed me(yes, I have an app that lets me know who unfollows me, no I'm not an asshole that tweets about it like most of those who do) I don't do anything but I notice she follows me right back as soon as I started tweeting my "Catfishing With Sidney Ackerman" blog entries. She commented that I was in love with her, I wasn't but I kind of found it weird that someone who I wasn't close with and wasn't on twitter for most of the Sidney story was putting her 2 cents in.

January 28, 2013 - I got a text from a random Texas number asking if I was involved in the Redskins fan catfishing. I said yes. I get a reply that they want to send someone to talk to me about my story and wanted my address. I reply, "That's fine but before I give out my address, I'd like to know what news organization this is." The texts stop. I'm almost positive that was Sidney or someone associated with her. (really now, did she actually think I would give out my address to a random phone number?)

Later on January 28, 2013 - I get a DM suspicious of SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia how they came out of nowhere and have all these followers that is possible that it is Sidney. I kind of laugh it off, either way its not like I was close to them or was trying to get to know them. (Unless they are into cuckolding, I have no reason to go out of my way to befriend a random woman and her husband)

 February 5, 2013 - I unfollow the couple earlier in the day just because of the rumors flying around. I figure I don't know them, so if I piss them off by unfollowing, who cares. The situation gets hot and someone actually accuses SportsfanInWV and MrsP_Tricia of being Sidney. I do not say anything.They deny but eventually they are asked to take a picture with their twitter handle on a piece of paper to verify their identity. They don't and both delete their accounts

People accused ToriBelle4 of being a catfish and she posted this. Some people when asked that question delete their accounts.

Catfished Again. I always found it kind of odd that MrsP_Tricia would ALWAYS make a comment whenever I tweeted out my blogs chronicling the Sidney experience. Also, I found it interesting that SportsfanInWV deleted his twitter on Superbowl Sunday but he reactivated it Tuesday and his first tweets were about the Sidney chronicles


 Today - Sidney creates an Instagram with snarky captions about some Redskins fans on twitter. I'm on there. My caption is how I beat off to her avi and text pictures of my cum. (I don't beat off to pictures and I certainly don't text pics of my cum, and besides, I don't use Instagram so I really don't care about what she says about me on there). Other skins fans weren't so lucky(she attacked people's kids. I'm not going to pretend like I'm a nice guy on the internet and I've told people to kill themselves on here but don't fuck around with pictures of peoples' kids). Sidney, just stop. You're being an attention whore. I'm willing to just walk away and just forget about you but you keep giving me reasons to call you a crazy cooter. I find it hilarious that you block me, then you create 2 new accounts to follow me with and then post hilariously inaccurate shit about me on Instagram.

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: The Ending

Spring-Summer 2012 - We keep in contact with throughout the year of 2012. We don't text each other as much as we used to but we still tweet and DM each other. I invite her to some stuff throughout the year, she declines. I find out that she's doing a Redskins Podcast with Dre and LL, 2 guys from twitter that are also Redskins fans so I figure that they have at least met her at some point. At one point, she DMs me and is convinced that they are trying to kick her off the podcast. (in retrospect, she probably was trying to make sure I was on her side in case her secret comes out)

Fall 2012 - I do not remember the exact game, but Sidney invites me to a Redskins game but like 2 hours before. I thank her but I cannot go. Looking back on it, that was probably a half assed invite because there was no way I could make it from Germantown to Fed Ex Field in time for kickoff.

December 18, 2012 - Dre and LL break the story that Sidney was using fake pics. I had been suspicious just because of the mysterious nature of Sidney but I had nothing concrete. After Dre and LL outed her, she locked her account and changed her twitter name from Red_Ridn_Hood to Red_Ridn_H00d. Honestly, I didn't really care. Whoever "Sidney" was had hooked me up with 2 Redskins tickets in the past and given me $50 and had been cool to tweet with so who really cares what he/she looked like.

December 23, 2012 - Tweeting with people and somehow catfishing gets brought up and I tweet that I am 98.8% percent that Sidney is a catfish. I get 6 DMs and a couple of texts that night from her and I can tell that she's kind of pissed. I respond in the morning

December 24, 2012 - I respond and she really isn't making sense. She sends me a bunch of screenshots and threatens to sue me for slander (I'm pretty sure if that lawsuit actually went through, I'm sure the judge would dismiss it if she actually showed up in person) and threatens to subpoena my DMs.  Eventually, she blocks me on twitter and I just tell her to lose my number and I haven't communicated with her since then.

January 10, 2013 - I figure the whole Sidney Ackerman saga is over. Jeff Darlington from the NFL Network follows me on twitter and asks me to follow him so he can DM me. I do it, and I notice that he said the same to other Redskins fan so I assume it's in reference to Sidney. I do it but I never get a DM

January 19, 2013 - I find out from LL that Sidney had another screen name. "Rideordiechick" or something like that. Totally different pics but still following other athletes. I'm told to say nothing, so I do not.

January 23, 2013 - The story breaks nationally. It was kind of funny seeing other news outlets picking up the story. I already knew Sidney was a non existent person but I had no idea this would become a national story. I tweet Dan Hellie from NBC 4 that I have 3 years worth of Sidney stories and eventually NBC 4 interviews me

 

 

In the end I am still confused. I feel like this is a real life version of The Usual Suspects. Each of those stories individually is not suspicious, but looking back and reflecting, it becomes totally obvious that she was a catfish. I have not called the number I have for her. I'm curious, I have a lot of questions for her, but I don't feel the need to contact her. I religiously watch the show "Catfish" and I get pissed off when the person being tricked is really naive. I know one of the indicators of being a Catfish is not having a lot of pictures. Sidney was the exact opposite, she changed her picture every other week,The thing that is kind of funny (and a testament to how good a catfish she was) is that I endured 3 years of flakiness and her profile was of a totally different woman and still , people were confused.

                                                                          Sidney 2009

                                                                            The right is Sidney 2012

I have had a couple of people think that I had actually met her and another person on twitter says that she gave him great medical advice when he was having an emergency. Another thing is that Sidney had an account on foursquare. (If you don't know what Foursquare is, Click Here. If you don't feel like clicking, it's basically a social media app that is based on your location)I kind of believe part of her story is true (who kills off 2 parents in order to perpetrate a fraud, but then again everything about this story is weird) Funny part is that my friends Steph and Liz saw the movie Catfish in 2010 and they immediately thought of Sidney but I refused to believe them. I watched the movie myself, and I was like "no not really"  and I actually wrote a list of 10 reasons why Sidney is not a Catfish to them.
I guess the moral of this story is you should call everyone you meet on twitter a catfish. If they flip out, they are one. If they don't, they aren't.

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: It's Hard to Indistinguish the Invisible from the Nonexistent

January 25, 2011 - A bunch of us decide to meet up in Bethesda at a restaurant. I invite Sidney and she actually agrees to come. The day after she is flying out to Florida or somewhere warm. The week of the event, the DC area was expecting a winter storm, so she tells me that she reschedules her flight for the day of the event. (There legitimately was a snowstorm coming so this did not seem suspicious to me at the time)

Winter/Spring 2011 - My friend Rob develops a plan to guarantee that Sidney doesn't flake. We should ask her if she wants to go to a comedy show months in advance and buy tickets so that she cannot flake out on us. We decide to buy tickets to Patrice O'neal on Friday, April 15. We all anticipate the show, 4 or 5 days she texts me saying that her softball team has a tournament on April 16th so she has to go. She looks into taking a flight in the morning but is unable to. She says that she is going to pay us back double the face value of the ticket since she can't go. I say no, I do not want to seem like an ingrate because she gave me two Redskins tickets no questions asked. Rob ends up selling the extra seat for a profit on Craigslist so it is not like he is out any money. Months later, she asks for my PayPal account and sends me $50.

April, 2011 - Out of nowhere, she mentions that I should come over for dinner at some point during a weekend. I called her out on it once, obviously no dinner happened.

May 4, 2011 - A bunch of my friends go to BGR Dupont to eat a 15.4 pound burger . I invite  Sidney and she says she might drop by the event. Our event ends, she doesn't so I text to see where she's at. She said she ended up at a friend's house in Dupont and is Skyping with a Redskins player who is still on the team. I suggest that we get a drink and she says that she'll be able to meet up in 15 minutes. 15 minutes passes, not there so I text again to see where she was at. She still hadn't left. At that point, I just went home.

Summer, 2011 - We're still in contact. She casually mentions to a common follower (who I have met and can guarantee that she is real) that she is on vacation but when she gets back, she will hold a twitter pool party. Obviously, I'm excited, and I casually bring it up to her a couple times, but nothing gets done.

November 18, 2011 -  Previously that month, we agree to meet up at a lingerie football league game in Baltimore. We text/tweet/DM and I buy tickets for myself and my friend Matt and she decides to buy tickets for her and her friends. I told her that I would buy tickets in a certain section, just to make sure we meet. Day comes, Matt and I go to the event, I send her a text to see where she was at. She texts back saying that she is at BWI picking up her friend and she will be there soon. At halftime, she says she is at the game but she didn't get tickets in our section. I see from the picture Sidney is tweeting that she is on the other side of the arena and I we exchange texts on how she should come over to my section but it doesn't happen. After the game, I hang around hopeful that we meet, she sends me a text that her battery is running low. I call/text but to no avail (I was kind of mad cause if she was with friends, she could've easily gotten my number from her phone and texted using her friend's phone) Matt and I hang out at Hooters for a while then I went home. As I was almost home, Sidney texts that she has a hotel room so if I wanted to get drunk in Baltimore, I would have crash space. (That message did me no good as I was almost home)

November 27, 2011 - Its a normal Sunday, watching football at home and my friend Matt who was following Sidney, decided to unfollow and she got mad. (Personally, if someone I had never met wanted to unfollow me, I would not care, and besides you had 10,000+ followers by then, who cares) And I think it is bad taste to publicly call out your unfollowers. I get a some texts from her. I stay out of it cause I'm not gonna tell a friend who to follow/unfollow. She tweeted something about how I told her that Matt needs help getting girls (I never told her that) and refuses to deny that. Matt's smart so he does not believe her.

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: Chasing A Mystery

January, 2010 - We agree to go to a Wizards v Lakers game. I love the Wizards and she is a Lakers fan. I offer to buy as a gift for getting me to skins tickets twice, but she says something about how she has a friend working in their ticket office so she'll get really nice for free. If for some reason, that is unable to happen, she found a bunch of $ at post office that no one claimed as missing, she'll use the money to buy great seats.

January 12-26, 2010 - Earthquake happens in Haiti so she and a bunch of nurses from Johns Hopkins go down to help out. She comes back, develops whooping cough goes to the hospital for it and gets treated. Immediately, I'm I let her know that I don't care about the tickets and I just want her to be healthy. She still insists on wanting to go to game, because the Lakers come to DC once a year

January 26, 2010 - Since I know she's been sick, I keep in contact with her via text, make sure she is ok, before I go to the Verizon Center. Her friend that works there is delivering the tickets to her house in Potomac and she will drive down. (Why her friend couldn't leave a ticket in my name and her name in Willcall, I don't know but I did not question it at the time) She calls me, and I hear her coughing really bad so she is in no shape to go but she says her neighbor will deliver the ticket to me. She gives me his number and I call and text to arrange a time and place to meet up as I am already at the Verizon Center. Friend lets me know that he is about to park but after that, he doesn't text/call or return my texts and calls so I end up waiting outside of the Verizon Center. I let Sidney know and she is unable to talk to him but later on he tells her that he could not find me. ( I am a large african american fella and I was wearing an orange Gilbert Arenas jersey, I'm not hard to miss, plus, we have cell phones) Me and Sidney talk about maybe meeting up at a sports bar in the future, but we do not make definite plans.

Spring, Summer , 2010 - We keep talking via text/twitter/DM. Her father had a heart attack in May and died. She and the Redskins player I alluded to early get into an argument about flying her private plane. She mentions how some musician was trying way too to holler at her when she was in Los Angeles (I'd never heard of the guy so I'm not even sure it is worth it to namedrop and I can't even find a wikipedia page for him) and how he dropped off a bunch of dresses and a car at her place after one date. I see that the musician follows her so I assume she is telling the truth. We keep mentioning trying to meet up but no firm plans are made. At one point, I'm at tweet-up and she texts me about wanting to go to a tweet-up but she doesn't come out and I don't go out of my way to try to meet up with her. I know at one point, we talk about Cypress Hill's new album, and she offers to have B-real send me a copy, but I decline.

Week of August 15, 2010 - Sidney pisses off one of my twitter friends with conservative political talk. Somehow I get caught up in the firestorm and Sidney thought I was making fun of her behind her back and we got into a twitter argument. (I don't know, apparently me telling my friend Becky who was bothered by your birther tweets to ignore them, and doing this on a public forum where I know you can see it and then telling you that I did all this when you message me complaining Becky isn't responding to your tweets is talking shit behind your back )She forgave me later that day, but I felt weird how she apologized via text and not on twitter but for a woman that hot and rich, I overlooked it.

September, 2010 - My friend Kevin gets to know Sidney via twitter/text and he won President's Club tickets. He invites me, our common friend Jerry and Sidney.

September 16, 2010 - There is a shooting at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Sidney was a medical student there at the time so I worry about her. I send her texts to make sure she is ok and I do not get any responses. Some of her friends tweet me to see if I know the situation cause I actually live in Maryland, I tell them I have no news. Eventually news is realeased that there is only one self inflicted casualty so I stop worrying about Sidney.

September 23, 2010 - Through casual conversation on twitter, Sidney mentions she has a boyfriend and I make a joke to her that her boyfriend is the musician I alluded to early. She texts me back with the twitter handle of her boyfriend and how he is not her type and how she wants to accidently on purpose sleep with someone just so her boyfriend dumps her. And she also texts me that I should know that she likes black guys. I text back but nothing too intriguing but I do wonder what she meant when she said that she likes black guys

September 25, 2010 - This was the game Kevin won tickets to. He wants us to get there early, so we can enjoy the Presidents Club and walk around on the field as he has pregame field passes. Jerry, Kevin and I arrive early and Sidney calls me and says that her boyfriend stole her keys and that she is waiting for a locksmith and will get here when all of that is done. She doesn't show up. Luckily, we found Tracy, who is also a huge Nats fan and he used Sidney's ticket and left Tracy's ticket for Sidney at Willcall. Later on she texts me with the name and phone number of the locksmith and says I can check if needed (unsolicitad, I believed her. I dont need to check to see if you actually have a locksmith working on your house)

October 2, 2010 - I send Sidney a text about hanging out at Hard Times in Germantown for the Redskins v Eagles game. She says that she is going to Philadelphia for the game (not the first time she has road tripped for a game) but she did offer to drive me up and back to watch the game. I would've had to pay for the ticket but it would've been below face value. I decide not to go because I would be getting home near midnight and I had to wake up at 5:30 to get to work.

October 25, 2010 - Sidney texts and DMs saying that a Redskins player (still in the league but no longer with the Redskins) was coming over to her house. He facebooked her on Friday and they skyped on Saturday. Later on in October, I see that the Redskins player and his friend tweet her and they all follow each other. Also, she sends me a pic of the player in his house (I remember seeing something on tv that the player's gym was a certain color) so this also proves to me that this is true.

November 15, 2010 - I was going to watch the Redskins v Eagles game at a bar with friends but a couple of hours before the game, Sidney texts me and says that she is going to be sitting in a suite and her tickets are available. She offers to hand deliver them to me at the stadium, but I decide not to go because there was bad weather and I knew her track record of her flakiness.

Week of November 28, 2010 - We agree to go to the Redskins v Vikings game together. She agrees to pick me up from home so we can head to the stadium and tailgate together. The day before the game, she is in North Carolina but says that she will be back before the game. The day of the game, she drives back to Maryland at 5 AM takes a nap, but wakes up too late for her nap for her to go to the game.

Catfishing with Sidney Ackerman: The Begining

So, the story broke about the Redskins Catfish this week. (For those of you who do not know, "Catfish" is a term for people online pretending to be someone they are not) I had 3 years worth of Sidney Ackerman stories, and I felt the need to share them. I ended up typing over 4000 words on her, so I deceided to split up the stories year by year, otherwise no one is going to read my ramblings.

August/September 2009 - Found Sidney's profile (RedheadedSlut) on twitter and started following cause I was still new to twitter and she was a local skins fan. We talked but she didn't follow back.

October 2, 2009 - I'm at home just on twitter, I see her tweets about being at a bar and I half jokingly say that we should drink together and she direct messages me and says she is at some DC club and says I should come out. It was late, I had to work in the morning, and I didnt have a car, so I say no, and don't come out.

October 3, 2009 - Sidney follows me back and she DMs me and asks if I want to go to the Redskins game the next day. I was having my fantasy hockey draft the next day but she says I should let her know if I ever want to go to a Redskins game because someone who was on the 2009 Redskins but no longer in the league can get her extra tickets if needed. (I don't know the legality/etiquette of naming the players involved in the catfishing, but because the legitimate press didn't, I won't but will give vague clues) I see that Sidney and the Redskins player she is talking about actually talk to each other and follow each other on twitter, so I have no reason to think she is lying. She tells me that she lives on Hackamore Lane in the River Falls neighborhood of Potomac. She also gives me her phone number and says to text her, cause it is easier. All of this is unsolicited. I never asked for tickets or asked for her number or address but I give her my number and am pretty stoked that I might be going to a Redskins game soon.

The week of October 5, 2009 - I text her Monday, saying that I want to go to the Redskins v Chiefs game on October 18th. She agrees. We text/tweet back and forth between those 2 weeks.

October 16, 2009 - Maryland is having some bad weather, so Sidney goes to Atlantic City for the weekend but says she will be back for the game.

Ocotber 18, 2009 - Due to daydrinking on the 17th, I blacked out and was too hungover to go to the game. Good news! Sidney stayed in Atlantic City because I wasn't answering texts so no harm no foul. We agree to meet up for the Redskins v Broncos game on November 15th.

October 31, 2009 - I see Cypress Hill in concert. I tweeted about it prior because I was pumped because this was the first concert I ever attended. I do not believe I specifically told Sidney about it . But when I'm at the concert, before Cypress Hill took the stage, Sidney tells me that she is backstage with B-real smoking weed with him. She knew him from a paintball tournament and they have the same birthday. (My friend Rob, who is more knowledgeable about Cypress Hill than I am is able to confirm that B-real loves paintball) Since we both happened to be at the same concert, we text back and forth, I'm trying to get her to at least come out and say hi or even try to get backstage myself. I have a good time at the concert, without seeing her, but we are still on for the Denver game. (Rob is suspicious but sometime later on, I look at some of Sidney's favorited tweets and I see that there is a tweet from B-real wishing her a happy birthday so I figure she was legitamely there.

November 11, 2009 - Sidney changes her twitter username from Redheadedslut to Red_Ridn_Hood

November 14, 2009 - Sidney's mother dies from an aneurysm. I dont have the tickets and she has to go to North Carolina for the funeral. Somehow, through StubHub, she leaves the tickets at Stubhub Willcall, all I had to give her was my email address and name.

 November 15, 2009 - Everything goes fine without a hitch, I get the tickets at Willcall. I enjoy the seats with my friend Arun. The seats were about 8 rows up from the field, and behind the Redskins bench. The last time I sat that close to a football game was when I watched high school football. She calls me afterwards to see if I had a fun time and see how everything worked out.

December 6, 2009 - During the Redskins v Saints game, the Redskins have a lead and she tweets something about having a party if the Redskins win. I let her know I am interested but no party because the Redskins lose. During the game, she texts me a pic of the 2 guys behind her and asks if they were at the game in November. I had a crappy phone so I was not able to view the pic but I remember that a woman sat directly behind me so I know it is not them.

December 9, 2009 - Through casual twitter conversation, she tells me she has a website. (It is no longer active now, but it was backed up using Wayback Machine.)Here , here and here. She tells me to sign up and become a member so I do. No payment necessary, didn't have to enter a credit card. Site was a bunch of pictures and some blogs. I don't think I visited often.

December 19-20, 2009 - There was a snowstorm in the DC area, Sidney lets me know that she might have an extra ticket for the Monday Night Football game vs the Giants.

December 21, 2009 - I am able to get the extra ticket. Again it is at StubHub Willcall, but it is no problem. I go to the game, sitting by myself but we agree to meet up after halftime. I had a problem getting texts because there was so much data in the air at FedEx Field so I ended up getting texts about 10+ minutes after they were sent. We did our best to text back and forth. The Redskins were getting blown out, it was cold, so she left early. She texts me that she's coming by my section, but with my text delay, I got the text after she left. Again, I fail to meet Sidney.

Doing Stuff on my Bucketlist (If I had One)

Yesterday, I crossed an item off my bucket list (if one exists, which I won't confirm or deny that one exists). I had turducken. For those of you who didn't grow up in the 90s/00s watching Pat Summerall and John Madden do football broadcasts on Thanksgiving, a turducken is when you stuff a chicken inside a duck and then you stuff all of that and stuff it into a turkey.

My friend Ashley (who I solely know off of twitter) invited me up to Baltimore for Thanksgiving dinner, this is the second year of her tradition of inviting people in the area for turducken. We're not sure who is crazier, her for inviting an internet stranger to her house or me for going to Baltimore to a houseful of internet strangers who could've been gang or KKK members.

Traveling from Germantown to Baltimore without a car wasn't that hard. I spent less than $7 to use mass transit. There's a bus that goes from my local metro station to BWI airport for $5, and then from there I took the light rail the rest of the way. I kind of wonder, how much theft happens on there. I mean, there really isn't a surefire way to make sure you paid. I've heard that they have random fare checkers (I've ridden twice and I've never been asked to show proof). I guess when rides are less than $2, there really isn't a point of stealing rides. Coming back was more expensive, Amtrak isn't cheap, but all in all, I made the trip and back and I only had to sacrifice $35, 35% of my laptop screen and some of my dignity when I tripped infront of a lightrail-ful of people getting off, but I digress...



The turducken was awesome. I wish I took notes when I was eating this. It was just full of awesome that's hard to describe off of memory. I didn't really notice the difference in the meats but it was very filling. It tasted a lot like turkey and chicken, I didn't really notice the duck meat. There was other fixins, stuffing, biscuits, mashed potatoes, which I had and those were delicious. There were some green beans too, I honestly cant remember if I ate them. I was too in love with the turducken to pay attention to healthy vegetables. I finished off three massive plates of turducken and fixins yesterday.

It was a great day. One of the highlights was when Sush (one of the guests) and I were somehow talking about the KKK and how they would be after her as well. And I asked her if she was black and she laughed and said she was Jewish. (I wasn't thinking, I had been drinking all day and half of my blood was busy digesting turducken.) For the record, Sush does not look black or mixed at all.

Another highlight was when the Redskins beat the Cowboys. It was weird, Ashley is a Cowboys fan, and I'm a Redskins fan but each of us thought the opposing team would win. It was like the movie Face-off. I have a list of Top 10 Sporting Events I Have Attended . I do not have one for games I have watched on TV (too many to consider, I've watched over 1,000) but this would probably make it.

It was nice getting something crossed off my bucket list (if one exists) The next thing I hope to cross off is attend a Super Bowl or attend a victorious playoff game for a DC Sports team. I've been to 3 Capitals playoff games and 1 Nationals playoff game, all of them have been losses

Tolu Robertson, Stand-up Comedian

I finally decieded to do stand-up. I kind of wanted to try my hand at stand-up for a while, but never had the balls to do it, until recently.

I'm sure one of the factors is the fact that I made a little bit of a stir in the comedy world as Tolu Robertson . And part of it was seeing a couple of friends go to some open mike nights and doing okay. I figured I've listened to enough comedy albums (true story, I would listen to comedians' records before going to sleep or when doing homework my junior year of college), and I have enough funny stories that I can come up with 5 minutes of decent stand-up comedy.

I pretty much came up with most of my set on a lazy Sunday waiting for the Redskins v Rams game to come on. A lot of it was self referential, I figure if I'm going to go onstage and be nervous and talk, it should be about a subject I am an expert in (myself). Plus its impossible to steal material (intentional or unintential) when most of the jokes you're making are about yourself and are based on real life experiences. At an open mike once, I saw a guy pretty much do Mitch Hedberg's act but with his own material. Technically it's not stealing but when you go out and take someone's delivery and manerisms on stage, you're not being yourself and I'd rather go out on stage and bomb/suceed with my own material.

Here's video of my standup. It was performed at the Blue Banana in DC on September 25th.  I'm very self critical of myself, I still haven't watched it and I probably won't watch the video for a while. Before going on stage, I felt really nervous but once on stage, I really didn't feel anything. Maybe it was cause I knew my material, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the cheatsheet I had on the side of the stage helped me. I felt like I did a good job, considering I'm an amatuer and had no idea what I was doing. I got some groans from the Jerry Sandusky joke I did, but that inspired me to write more Jerry Sandusky material... But I am kind of mad that I forgot to include a really funny herpes joke in my set. It was fun, I can't wait to do this again

Predicting the Redskins Schedule

I'm going to try and attempt to go through game by game and predict the Redskins' record. First time I've ever tried to do this. Most seasons I convince myself that they will win 10+ games with no real reason, though last season I predicted 5 or less wins at the start and I was right.

Week 1 @ New Orleans W

I'd normally pick the Saints but considering Bountygate, I am going with the Skins for this game. Their coach and interim coach (as well as other players) are suspended for this game. I want to see the interim interim coach suspended or get thrown out to see if Skynet becomes self aware and starts coaching in this game.

Week 2 @ St. Louis W

With a third offensive coordinator in three years, Sam Bradford is slowly following the same gameplan Jason Campbell followed to mediocrity. Another road win for the Redskins.

Week 3 vs Cincinnati L

I see RGIII's first game in DC (Well Maryland technically) as a loss. With a true offseason under their belt Andy Dalton and AJ Green will find a way to expose the Redskins biggest defensive weakness, the secondary.

Week 4 @ Tampa Bay W

RGIII bounces back from his first professional loss to win big in Tampa in a nationalized televised game. I'm not buying Tampa as legitimate. I hate Josh Freeman cause he was a bad backup QB in fantasy football and I distrust college coaches making the jump to the NFL (see Spurrier, Steve; Petrino, Bobby and Saban, Nick)

Week 5 vs Atlanta L

RGIII will get his numbers but it will not be enough with Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez and Julio Jones catching passes for the other team

Week 6 vs Minnesota W

Redskins get "revenge" for the Christmas Eve game last year where Joe Webb and Toby Gearhart took over the injured Christian Ponder and Adrian Peterson. Supposedly Adrian Peterson will be healthy enough to play all 4 quarters, but the front 7 should be able to neutralize him.

Week 7 @ New York Giants W

Redskins win for the 3rd time in 3 tries vs the Giants.

Week 8 @ Pittsburgh L

Dick LeBeau and his zone blitz defense will be in midseason form and they will eat RGIII alive in this game.

Week 9 vs Carolina L

2 highly rated black quarterbacks going against each other in this game. I will give the edge to Newton in this one. Hopefully we see this matchup many times in the playoffs in future years.

Week 11 vs Philadelphia W

I am planning on going to this game (birthday weekend) and the Redskins are 8-4 when I attend their games. If for some reason I cant go, I'm sure a nagging injury from Vick will limit his effectiveness and the Redskins will capitalize off that.

Week 12 @ Dallas L

Redskins are 0-6 on Thanksgiving Day games vs the Cowboys and with a rookie quarterback playing on short rest, I do not see him being the stopper. May later in his career he will get a Thanksgiving Day win but not today.

Week 13 vs Giants L

RGIII will play well but Eli will go on a run at the end of the game to rally his team to victory.

Week 14 vs Ravens L

RGIII will hit the rookie wall and not play well against a perenially good Ravens defense.

Week 15 @ Browns W

Rookie vs Rookie QB, probably in a cold weather game. Both teams have storied pasts but have stunk as recent. Redskins win in an ugly, run dominated because Morris + Helu + Royster > Richardson and his balky knee.

Week 16 @ Eagles L

No real reasoning, just feel like the Eagles will win in this game.

Week 17 vs Cowboys W

Home game featuring 2 mediocre teams, I'll pick the home team for this one.

This season is going to be a lot like a previous Shanahan seasons, a hot start but then a regression back to reality in the 2nd half of the season. But there is stuff to look forward to. 8-8 would be the Redskins best record since Zorn's first year in DC. Plus every single Week 1 offensive starter is under 30 and only 2 Week 1 defensive starters are over 30. Maybe next year the Redskins can make a run at the playoffs.

I hope Shanahan gets a Year 4. You don't pay a guy 7 million dollars a year and give him partial GM power for 19-29(which includes my 8-8 prediction) over 3 years, but the Redskins had one of the oldest rosters in Year 1 of the Shanahan takeover and now have one of the youngest. The team is in better shape than the one he inherited.

Something I noticed today

Isn't it ironic, that Chick-Fil-A, an organization that donates to anti gay rights organizations like Focus on the Family and others, has a twitter account run by the Germantown, MD franchise with the handle @cFAGtown ?

#IYNT

Wednesday, July 3, was the first Ignite Your Natitude Tweetup, but not the first Nationals tweetup. In the spirit of twitter, all

paragraphs will be 140 characters or less...

I got there around 3:15, gates didn't open until 4, game didn't start until 6:30. People wanted the meet n greet with the players, that

was available to the first 10 people to check in. I almost got it, I was 13th in line. I probably would've gotten it if my belt had been

 tied tighter (i was essentially mooning people for a couple of seconds while running to the check in table) or if the ticket I had was

scanning properly (first time using mobile tickets so it took me a couple of swipes). My friend Tracy was able to win the meet n greet

, and I felt compelled to give him the ball I got from Livan Hernandez to have that signed. Tracy eventually got that ball signed by

Stephen Strasburg, and I kind of feel like that symbolizes a turning point of the franchise, a passing of the torch of staff aces.

Had a great time. I guess any time that the Nationals win is a good time. This was espicailly exciting because this is the first

time I've seen a Jordan Zimmermann win live(yes, I actually keep track of these things along with other stats). It's not that he doesn't

pitch well, when I go to the ballpark ( 3.65 ERA over 7 starts) but the offense never comes through for him, or he's not pitching when

the game is decieded. Its always fun nerding out with other Nats tweeters (the Center Field Gate Alliance, singing along to walkup music,

sacreligious Jesus Flores puns) even if you aren't familiar with them. I lucked out, my seat was near other tweeters I knew. One of the

things that I kind of hate about tweetups is that I tend to gravitate to people I've known previously. I need to do a better job of

introducing myself to new people and striking up conversations.

Two things really pissed me off. The special ticket offer came with 6 bucks credit for concessions. I've ordered tickets with

food credits on them before, no problem, but I was a little concerned since it was on my phone, so I asked one of the employees

working the Ignite Your Natitude Tweetup sign-in table and he tod me that it would be fine. Thinking I have 6 bucks credit, I go to

Jammin Island and order the combo with chicken and ribs and rice n beans and potato salad, only to be told that they couldn't scan the

code off my phone. (it hurt me deep to leave all that food stranded) Thinking that the stand doesn't know what they were doing, I go

to another concessions area, but I'm told the same thing. I go back to the sign in table, and another employee tells me that I need to go to

guest services, and they were able to resolve the issue. Would've been a lot easier just to tell me to go to guest services initially.

Before the food credit fiasco, I had a decent appetite, and wanted to go for the 8 pound Strasburger. I've taken doen a 6 pound milkshake

with a 1.5 lb sandwhich before, so 8 pounds of bread/meat/veggies should be no problem. I politely asked the person at the Red Loft if they

were serving the Strasburger today, she said no. TURNS OUT THEY WERE BECAUSE MY FRIEND STEPHANIE ORDERED ONE AND ATE IT WITH FRIENDS! That

is a customer service fail! This is your signature item, EVERY single employee at the Red Loft should be able to give a correct answer if

asked if its being served. If they do not know, ASK! It is a $50 burger, it is worth your time to ask. With the secrecy of when it is

 available, and the failure of tonight, I'm starting to think there is a worldwide conspiracy for me not to eat this burger. Thankfully

Stephanie saved me a slice, very succulent, and I can't to eat 8 pounds of that.

(Note that invalidates most of this rant. Turns out they weren't selling the Strasburger, but Travel Channel was at the park and filmed a special on the burger and my friend Andrea asked if she could have it afterwards and they said yes. Still, it would've been nice to have it available when a special about it is being filmed)

I wish they had charging stations for us tweeters. My droid uses its battery pretty fast and I was already on orange in the 3rd inning.

Luckily, there was a rain delay and I used that opportunity to find an outlet and charge up.

All in all, it was a great night at the ballpark, the metro ride home, that's a different story, but I'm looking forward to future baseball

tweetups, both informal and organized by the team.

Rick Eckstein, The Most Interesting Man in Washington

Hadn't blogged in a while. Part of it was lacking a computer and part of it was not having any good thoughts but here goes my thoughts on the Nationals hitting coach, Rick Eckstein and if he should stay or go.

The Nationals offense has not been good at all this year, and the past week, it has gone even colder. I'm not sure how much of that is Rick's fault though. The Nationals have scored 265 runs, have an On Base % of .304 and a Slugging % of .387, all below the MLB average. Some of that is the rash of injuries. Opening day starters Wilson Ramos, Ryan Zimmerman and Jayson Werth have spent time on the disabled list and Michael Morse, who would've been a starter for opening day if it wasn't for an injury, has only played 22 games.

Good stuff has happened under Eckstein too. 19 Year old Bryce Harper rarely looks his age when facing Major League pitching. Ryan Zimmerman won a Silver Slugger and had a 30 game hitting streak. Adam Dunn slugged 76 homers and Josh Willingham hit 40 homers and batted .263 in their 2 years here. Michael Morse hit .303 with 31 homers last year. Before his injury, Jayson Werth was playing like the Jayson Werth of old, and not the stressed out model the Nationals didn't know what to do with last year. The pitchers actually look like decent hitters.

I wanted to try and remove injuries from the situation and judge Rick Eckstein by a jury of his peers. Eckstein's first full season as the National's hitting coach was in 2009. Six other hitting coaches have been with their team as long as Eckstein (Kevin Long, Yankees;Dave Magadan, Red Sox; Brook Jacoby, Reds; Kevin Seitzer, Royals; Lloyd McClendon, Tigers; Joe Vavra, Twins). Three others have been hitting coaches since 2009 but with multiple teams (Greg Walker, White Sox and Braves; Derek Shelton, Braves and Rays; Don Baylor, Rockies and Diamondbacks). Amongst all of those coaches, Eckstein ranks last in Batting Average, On Base %, Slugging %, OPS and runs.

I did the research with an open mind. Even though the Nationals offense had been slumping, I was pro Eckstein because of all the injuries that have happened. Now that I took a step back and looked at the data, he should be let go at the end of the season. I know some of this data is "misleading" because when you can buy the best players, coaching makes a negligible difference (you know who I'm talking about). But when the Royals are hitting better than you, that's a problem. Twenty-three teams have changed their hitting coach during Rick Eckstein's tenure. The Nationals gave him a fair chance, here's to a new hitting coach in 2013.

The Search For a New Closer

Still recovering from watching Henry Rodriguez blow another game I know he only has 2 blown saves but those lines are wildly magnificient.1.1 Innings pitched 5 hits, 4 runs, 3 strikeouts and 5 wild pitches. I can work with you if you lack control or if you're prone to giving up homers but not if you're a wild pitch artist.


Only problem is who will replace Hrod as closer. Most fans would probably want Tyler Clippard or Craig Stammen.  Two words for you. ABSOLUTELY NOT!


It's not that I don't value their contribution, but I believe they serve more value in their roles as relief firemen then they would as a closer. More is at stake during a tie game with no outs and no one on or the top of the 7th with no outs and bases loaded. I would rather use them to keep the game close than save them for the 9thinning lead the nats may never get. Besides,imagine Hrod in that last situation. Hot enough for you?

Ryan Perry is the next guy that comes to my mind.his last outing had him giving up 6 runs in 2/3 of an inning. Next name.

Tom Gorzelanny. People I know do not like him, but I haven't developed a hatred for him. As a former starter I believe he can do well in the Nats bullpen. But I will pass on him as a closer until his statistics reflect what my uninformed mind thinks he can do.

This leaves 2 names that I would happily endorse as closer. Ryan Mattheus and Sean Burnett. Mattheus' career ERA is only 2.74 (small sample size, I know ). But the last time he was a regular closer was in 2008.Burnett started last year as the co closer until he became ineffective, but he was able to fix himself and is off to a great start so far this year. And his career ERA is only 3.71.Surely, my blood pressure will be lower with Mattheus or Burnett as closer then Henry Rodriguez.

Bobbleheader or Doublebobble, what sounds better?

Last Saturday was an excellent sporting day for the DC fans. The Nationals won, the Capitals won, DC United won. Too bad the Wizards weren't able to continue the winning tradition throughout the day, but they are at the point where it's more beneficial to lose than win so I'm ok with that. Other than baseball doubleheaders, this is the first time I've attended. It wasn't attended for the love of the sports, more for the love of bobbleheads.

I have 42 bobbleheads and a garden gnome. Not gonna lie, it's a bit of an addiction. First bobblehead game I attended was Jose Guillen bobblehead night, and honestly that night was not chosen because it was a bobblehead night. My friends Sarah and Kate were in town and wanted to catch a game. I dragged my friend Chris to come with us and we happened to get bobbleheads. We went to Hooters afterwards, but I digress... At first I just wanted to collect the Nationals collection, but it has spread to me collecting all the DC pro sports teams. Usually my method is to buy multiple tickets so I can go through the turnstiles and collect extra bobbleheads and then trade those on Craigslist, but last fall I went a little crazy with Bill Me Later option on Ebay and grew my collection that way.

Anyways, so my friend Mike, who is also into bobbleheads, found out about John Wall Bobblehead Night back in January. The Wizards did not do a good job of hyping it up until March. Originally it was not on the promotions page and Mike found it on a random link of the site. Also, this was about the time where DC Sports Bog was doing a story on how cheap Wizards tickets were to acquire on the secondary market. I went on StubHub and bought 4 tickets for 30 bucks, retail price 40 back in early February. I actually did periodically check to see if I could've gotten a better deal, and yes I could've bought 10 tickets for 50 if I had waited.

For the Nationals, I just ordered the tickets directly from the team. I ordered a 5 game flex plan and the games I chose were Opening Day, the three bobblehead games, and I have a voucher for a game, which I will probably use for Harperkkah. I'm not sure when I realized that both games were on the same day, but I'm sure I was excited. I just wished that the Nationals game was at 1:05 instead of 4:05 just so I would have more time to get to the Verizon Center for the 7:00 game.

The game started at 4:05. They started selling 5 dollar Day of Game tickets at 1:30. I got there before 12:30. I am not sure what is more sad, that I got there more than 3 and a half hours for a baseball game or that I was not the first person in line, there were about 10 people ahead of me. I engaged in polite conversation with my line mates about Nationals games and how we hate tourists and I was easily able to acquire a 5 dollar ticket to go with my real ticket so I could get 2 Stephen Strasburg Bobbleheads.

I'm paranoid, so I always include a change of clothing so that I am not recognized when I go to double dip for a bobble. I started doing this when after Frank Howard Bobblehead Night. It was raining, so there weren't as many people going through the gates so it was easy to recognize people. I had 4 tickets, and they stopped me at 3 but I got my friend to walk by so I could get the 4th.

With 3 hours to kill before the game, I hung out with Matt, Jen, Dave, TJ and Lara at one of the restaurants, the Red Porch. I was very disappointed that they were not serving The Strasburger. I understand you cannot have 8 pounds of burger ready on a whim so you have to limit the days when it's available. BGR, the Burger Joint, has a policy of calling 24 hours in advance if you want to go for its 15.4 lb burger, and you have to leave your credit card number with them. But it was a nice day out, and bobblehead nights pretty much guarantee that you will have a huge crowd that will be arriving early, and its Strasburg Bobblehead Night. IF YOU HAVE A SPECIALTY ITEM BASED ON A PLAYER, IT SHOULD BE A FEDERAL CRIME IF IT ISN'T OFFERED ON THAT PLAYER'S (INSERT PROMOTIONAL ITEM HERE) GIVEAWAY NIGHT!

We tried to get Jordan Zimmermann to sign Matt's ball, but he was not by the dugout. We were able to wave at Drew Storen and Mike Rizzo though. Normally, baseball is my focus at baseball games but with the Capitals in the playoffs, they were the priority. Mike, Matt and I were able to get a great position at the Red Loft. We had a nice view of the field and when we turned around to look at the tv to pay attention to the game, we had a nice railing to lean on. So nice that some woman asked me if she could take my place since she was shorter and part of my attention was diverted to the tvs behind. I immediately told her no.

I have no regrets. I doubt it, but I kind of hope she's reading this. Lets be honest, if you're going to ask a random guy to give up his spot, it helps if you're hot and among female friends. She was average at best and among 2 dudes. Also, you're wearing a Red Sox cap. Maybe if you were actually a fan of the Nationals, I would've been more gracious and let you have my spot. But for a Boston fan, especially when the Caps are playing Boston, NO! Another thing, The Red Porch is not a ticketed area, its first come first serve. If you don't like the view you have, you have seats you purchased and are more than welcome to sit there.

I hate leaving games early but sometimes it's a necessary evil. I left early last week. It was a calculated risk. It was the bottom of the 6th inning, Nationals were up 3-1 and the Capitals were tied after regulation. We figured we could get the bobblehead and be able to chill and watch both games at the Green Turtle.

We met up with my friend Megan at Verizon Center and got our bobbleheads. Mike and I had 2 tickets each cause we're addicts. Matt forgot his ticket at home so he had to buy another ticket at the game. We settled in at Green Turtle with the Nationals reaching its conclusion and the Capitals game in OT. (On a side note, it should be a federal crime to operate a sports bar and not have high definition tvs. random side note, I'm not calling out any bars...) Nats won easily, and within seconds of Edwin Jackson and Kristina Akra getting doused with Gatorade , Backstrom scored the game winning goal in the 2nd OT.

The game wasn't that interesting. Cleveland got out to an 8-2 lead and never really looked back. The Wizards kept it close so it wasn't totally bad, but I still have hope for next year. Nothing exciting really happened, Wizards crowds aren't really full of life except during the Chick Fil A fowl shots promotions and the team has been horrible this year. But I think they are in a good position for the future, lots of youth and the only really bad contract on the team is Rashard Lewis but that expires next year. 

I was able to get four bobbleheads total, 2 Strasburgs and 2 John Walls. I traded the extra Strasburg for an Alex Ovechkin bobblehead from the 2008 season, so that means I have 3 different Ovi bobbleheads and the Wall bobblehead is being traded for a Deshawn Stevenson bobblehead.

April 15, 2011 a day that will live in infamy

This was the day Patrice O'Neal made fun of me on the CD known as Mr.P.

Started out as just a normal day. It was my third day at a new job which involved sorting financial statements. After that, my friend Rob and I had tickets to see Patrice O'neal at 8PM at the DC Improv. After work, I parked by my old work so I wouldn't have to pay for parking at metro, and to see if my work check had been delivered (it wasn't). I was trying to kill as much time before the 8 PM show.

I go to comedy shows like most people go to concerts. I've only been to 1 music concert (Cypress Hill, thanks for asking) but 20 comedy shows. I'm not even sure how I got started listening to comedy. I think it was at the University of Maryland cause I would frequently download standups/cds of comedians and listen to them as I did my homework or went to sleep.

Patrice is one of my favorite comedians that I've seen live. I could listen to him riff about anything all day. I forgot how I first heard about him, either from The Sports Junkies or Opie and Anthony. This was my third time seeing him live, both previous sets were awesome. 

I got there pretty early and as a result, my seat was front and center. The 2 random people who Rob sold the extra tickets to came in about 30 minutes later, and Rob was the last person to show up at the table.

I wish I remembered the openers that night, but I don't. I wish there was a way to get my hands on the raw taping that night. Patrice had a great set, but I wasn't feeling it the first couple of jokes because I was stressed about some other stuff but towards the middle of his set was the good stuff, then he called me out.

He was just trying to be friendly, he did great crowd work, and he asks me what my name was and I said "Tolu." I could just see it on his face, and I knew I was done for. I had no idea this was being taped so I just went along for the ride. You can download and listen to it here. I thought it was funny, so I just laughed along. I'm used to being picked on at comedy shows because I'm usually the token black guy. Somehow I've never been made fun of because of my weight.

Normally after comedy shows with Rob, we go to the local strip club and watch the ladies but I was a bit on the broke side so we didn't. He had a cigarette and was drunkenly, unsuccessfully hitting on the store manager of the CVS. Then he we went home, but on the way home we had some Wendy's. Looking back, if I had known that there was a Nationals and a Capitals game that day, I probably would not have gone, but oh well.

I sent out this tweet thinking it would be an inconsequential moment in my life. November 29th, I got a tweet from my friend Tom that my name was listed as a track on Patrice's new CD. I knew it had to have been me cause there is no way Patrice O'neal found 2 people named Tolu and made fun of them both. I was honored. When the CD came out, I made sure I had an iTunes copy and a physical copy.

I know, last October, when Patrice O'neal had a stroke, he was scheduled to be at the DC Improv the last weekend of April. I hoped for the best, but I knew the chances of a full recovery were slim when they took him off the lineup on the website. I understand its a business, but it would have been nice to see the Improv leave that slot blank or to have a Mr.P listening party on that date.

I miss you, Patrice. There will never be another one like you.